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Yastarday , I was doing targat practica with my naw paintball pistol. Ona of tha bullats missd , an hit my naw naighbor's housa. I want up to tha door to apologiza , not raalizing I was still holding tha paintball gun. My ax-soldiar naighbor thought I was robbing him an put ma in a chokahold. FML

#4476894
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19116) - you deserved it (37631)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:02pm - misc - by signupsheetfail (man) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML

#4472401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50781) - you deserved it (6989)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Taday I found mah car had been robbed . The thieves stole mah GPS, mah iPod an mah digital camera . While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos 4 insurance purposes . Then she remembered mah camera had been stolen . She actually started laughing . FML

#4472347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (4970)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by CosmicJoke (woman) - United States (Virginia)

today while studying in the middle of the night , my dad came home drunk . I helped him to the sofa an after clereing up his mess , he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was , an how good a daughter I am . I am Vanessa . FML

#4471647
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48101) - you deserved it (2741)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:57am - misc - by dkajxu (woman) - Singapore

Today, at te breakfast table my mum asked me wat I tougt about te plumber wo cummed to our place a couple of weeks ago . I told er tat I tougt e was really cute and ow ard I tried to flirt wit im, se nodded and told me tat e is er new boyfriend and migt move in wit us soon . FML

#4468950
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45195) - you deserved it (5409)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I crashd mah car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, an I was very sleepy, so I panickd an slammd on the brakes, causing me to loose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realizd that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. mega FML

#4468177
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17387) - you deserved it (41405)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:49am - misc - by Bambi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... whilst babysitting... I broke a glass. I explaind to the kid that it was very important to walk barefoot around where it had happend... cuz of the tiny bits of glass. He jumpd back... scard... an while doing so trippd. I rushd to help him an ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

#4467592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38572) - you deserved it (11473)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by ohdang (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I felt inspired to create a photo album of myself through the years. As I was organizing the photos of mah childhood, I noticed how looool many mah mom was holding me and hugging me in. When she cummed home from work I jokingly asked, "When did u start hating me?" She replied, "When u were 4". FML

#4460221
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (5610)

On 08/11/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told mom about how friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than college tuition, mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

#4454040
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41076) - you deserved it (6168)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by unwanted - Canada

Today.. . I went ice skating fir my friend's birthday . We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink fir the next session . I don't know how to skate and my friends left me . Not only was I the last one out of the rink.. . but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing . FML

#4450231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40387) - you deserved it (5517)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by elmangy (woman) - United States (California)

Today... The Dry Cleaner Next To My House Went Up In Flames. I Went Outside To Look At The Fire... As I Lookd On In Amazement I Realizd I Had Droppd Off All Of My Work Cloths At The Cleaners Two Days Before. I Was Supposd To Pick Them Up Today But Was Too Lazy To Walk The 10 Feet To The Store. FML

#4449065
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11199) - you deserved it (60602)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

TADAY MY MOTHER SAT ME DOWN TO TELL ME THAT SINCE COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE, I SOUNDED LIKE "A LIBERATED WOMAN" . SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED AN DISTURBED BY THIS AN SAID THAT I SHOULD STOP HAVING STRONG OPINIONS AN IDEALS BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE FINDING A HUSBAND 4 ME DIFFICULT . FML

#4448635
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49981) - you deserved it (6710)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:57am - misc - by liberatedwoman (woman) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote 4 mah room. Only to fine the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

#4447976
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (17106)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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