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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

#5793982
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33184) - you deserved it (2586)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:21am - misc - by thisisbad (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

#5793907
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27709) - you deserved it (6439)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML

#5791977
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46201) - you deserved it (10066)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my electricity went out. The electric company said it was because the bill was at least 4 months overdue. Apparently, I have been paying for my roommate to go out and party for weeks. FML

#5790955
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32522) - you deserved it (3634)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML

#5789871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31037) - you deserved it (4319)

On 10/12/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by ohgosh (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appearantly "almost" doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

#5785501
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35192) - you deserved it (12062)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty clothes when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML

#5781865
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by washed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

#5775880
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46233) - you deserved it (3418)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (2507)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56292) - you deserved it (28367)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

#5773283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34530) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by PackingSpaceHeat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

#5770681
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (3087)

On 10/11/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by foxbrat - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was invited to a birthday dinner at a restaurant. As I was leaving, I get a text from the birthday girl's boyfriend saying that it was cancelled. Hungry, I decided to go to that particular restaurant anyway. Turns out the party wasn't cancelled. Half the party just didn't want me there. FML

#5768887
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (4036)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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