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Man or woman?

Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML

#6737603
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41848) - you deserved it (2890)

On 12/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by justine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

#6733477
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (6535)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by soy_un_perderdor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing happy birthday with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

#6733111
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29865) - you deserved it (2552)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Thomas (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has more armpit hair than me. FML

#6732591
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34897) - you deserved it (6144)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by manutdlol - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

#6731924
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7341) - you deserved it (50562)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by eggnoodles (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML

#6730698
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (3695)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:39pm - misc - by Normal (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35861) - you deserved it (2967)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

#6725096
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9006) - you deserved it (35933)

On 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Icci (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML

#6724461
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7640) - you deserved it (47605)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

#6724178
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29857) - you deserved it (5983)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7367) - you deserved it (39878)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34540) - you deserved it (6270)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45216) - you deserved it (3905)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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