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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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TODAY, I WENT TO MY SCHOOL TO TAKE MY YEREBOOK PICTURE. I WAS WEREING A SHRT THAT SAID ANALOG ON THE FRONT. WHEN I BENT IN TO TAKE THE PICTURE, PART OF MY SHRT OVERLAPPED ITSELF. NOW I'M KNOWN AS THE ANAL KID IN THE YEREBOOK. FML

#5002532
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39845) - you deserved it (17379)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decidd to lay out topless in mah fencd-in backyard !! For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezd and mah creepy, middle-agd neighbor said "bless you" !! From mah bushes !! FML

#4998689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47960) - you deserved it (15992)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled!! After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working!! She sent me home!! My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason!! mega FML

#4995016
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (2617)

On 09/02/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by someone - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today , I was walking with mah boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles , I promptly walked into a pole , then became single. FML

#4994498
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13886) - you deserved it (64510)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I told my grlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacyhen we're at there place. I suggested that we go to my place fir a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see wat we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

#4992541
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters!! I turnd around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide!! I screamd "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny!! Then I realizd the creepy man was a cardboard cutout!! fat FML

#4981586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12990) - you deserved it (42152)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today... I received a text message from mah favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's mah birthday. FML

#4978107
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44643) - you deserved it (8282)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today... somaona broka my car's laft sida mrror. A friand of mina was buying a raplacamant ona and taxtad ma to confrm which ona I naadad. Ha askad: "It's tha drivar's sida... right?" To which I rapliad: "Right". I got tha wrong mrror. FML

#4975580
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13147) - you deserved it (43739)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

2day I want to mah boyfriand's housa to maat his parants. Aftar hundrads passiva aggrassiva commants, mah boyfriand an I want into tha kitchan. I startad complaining to him about how his parants wara horribla an maan. Littla did I know, his parants had followad us in an wara right bahind ma. fat looool FML

#4974765
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13436) - you deserved it (43454)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Yesterday, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

#4974670
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6826) - you deserved it (62210)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY.. . I WAS IN AN UNFAMILIAR BUILDING ON CAMPU AN I NEEDED TO USE THE BATHROOM BEFORE CLASS STARTED . I WALKED IN AN SAW A MAN AT THE SINK . I SAID ( OH MY GOD I'M SORRY! I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE WOMEN'S WASHROOM . ) IT WAS . THE VERY BUTCH LOOKING WOMAN GAVE ME A LOOK OF DEATH . FML

#4957088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (9434)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

while emailing mah very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, mah hand slippd . Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

#4956234
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37531) - you deserved it (10352)

On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my only sistar's wadding. Sa gava a spaac about ta parson wo maans ta most to ar. Sa said, ( Sa is my favorita sistar wo as always baan tara fir ma. ) Baing ar only sistar, I got up to ug ar. Turns out sa was talking about ar slutty sorority sistar. Not ma. maga FML

#4952830
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50931) - you deserved it (3424)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by ohsugarxo (woman) - United States (New York)



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