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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized that choosing to live in the honors dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if you are a member of the university marching band, which means you can practice your instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML

#5845760
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (4303)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by Matt (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

#5843241
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (3242)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a Biochemistry quiz. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my quiz was in the morning. I woke up at 10 feeling very confident. My quiz was at 9. FML

#5841442
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13334) - you deserved it (25701)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by sleepy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML

#5840798
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30377) - you deserved it (2398)

On 10/15/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Good_old_Grim (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML

#5839185
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (4763)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was involved in a wreck. How quickly did the police arrive at the scene? Very quickly, considering he was the one who rear-ended me at a red light. FML

#5837946
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (1850)

On 10/14/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by gooddriver (woman) - United States

Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML

#5835840
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (5981)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19896) - you deserved it (3054)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

#5831331
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10301) - you deserved it (23718)

On 10/14/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a woman yelled at me to stop following her around the store. We were in IKEA. The only way to get through the store is to follow the arrows through a one-way path. Apparently, no one informed her of this. FML

#5829001
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (2175)

On 10/14/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by creepystalkerguy (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88486) - you deserved it (14743)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

#5827048
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (7119)

On 10/14/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by thelandofoz - United States (Florida)



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