Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

#6983809
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (4595)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by mikeyamazing - Sent from mobile version

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (13733)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

#6976652
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6721) - you deserved it (49923)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35819) - you deserved it (5406)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

#6970939
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you deserved it (6454)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a puppy. I just found out I can't bring it on the family trip. To save me the trouble of finding a friend to take her in, my mum handed her back to the pound. FML

#6969552
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33996) - you deserved it (3729)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by DroopyDog (woman) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12811) - you deserved it (28443)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (3957)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

#6967912
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21558) - you deserved it (4000)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by jaded_woman (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

#6966482
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6242) - you deserved it (43203)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Unfortunate (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

#6966351
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31813) - you deserved it (2739)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Crippled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

#6963425
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8884) - you deserved it (69188)

On 12/26/2009 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

#6960254
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (8262)

On 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by thatguy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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