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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the last person I invited to my birthday party called and said they couldn't come because another party "came up" and they "hope I understand". It's on December 31st. This happens every year without fail. FML

#6995867
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29074) - you deserved it (8720)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by ahh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

#6992051
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7919) - you deserved it (24977)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:08pm - misc - by Spac3Ghost (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92184) - you deserved it (5284)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

#6983809
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (4594)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by mikeyamazing - Sent from mobile version

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (13719)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

#6976652
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6711) - you deserved it (49881)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:22pm - misc - by LaurenLehmmman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (5390)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

#6970939
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31238) - you deserved it (6454)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a puppy. I just found out I can't bring it on the family trip. To save me the trouble of finding a friend to take her in, my mum handed her back to the pound. FML

#6969552
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33993) - you deserved it (3729)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by DroopyDog (woman) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

#6969489
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12784) - you deserved it (28377)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by Icy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (3949)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

#6967912
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21524) - you deserved it (3997)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by jaded_woman (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

#6966482
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6241) - you deserved it (43196)

On 12/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Unfortunate (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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