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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML

#6057828
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6183) - you deserved it (65276)

On 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

#6057251
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28229) - you deserved it (2578)

On 10/29/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML

#6054945
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (6522)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by girlthatstoofat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

#6053376
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10789) - you deserved it (54019)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML

#6050287
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7169) - you deserved it (60137)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by GlassJAwkidE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30012) - you deserved it (3107)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée and I were going on our honeymoon. Our flight was delayed by two hours. It landed when our connecting flight to St. Lucia was taking off. The airline said they were holding the flight for us, so we sprinted from D gate to A, in time to watch the plane pull away. FML

#6040297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34989) - you deserved it (2638)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Gw (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, we finally got our first electricity bill for our new flat. I was shocked to see that we had used £60 worth of electricity in 6 weeks. Then I noticed that it was only an estimate, and that we could read the meter ourselves to correct the amount. We now have to pay nearly £400. FML

#6038057
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (7166)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I realized that I have to block my number to get my own mother to take my phone calls. FML

#6037423
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30085) - you deserved it (3083)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Slayeddd (woman) - United States

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33334) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my car through the car wash. I got bored, so turned the radio on, forgetting that the aerial/antenna on the car is automatic. My car aerial is now bent at a 90 degree angle and about to fall off. The radio is half white noise, half stuff that may or may not be free jazz jam sessions. FML

#6036735
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6793) - you deserved it (30551)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by ohsnap (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

#6035910
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31189) - you deserved it (6473)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16735) - you deserved it (33389)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)



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