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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML

#5888357
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40115) - you deserved it (2254)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by NUsConstantine (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML

#5878070
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27846) - you deserved it (14497)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by Xia (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML

Today, it was Homecoming. During the dance, I saw this mentally handicapped guy ask this pretty girl to dance. She said no. So I went over to him and asked him to dance. He replied that he only wanted to dance with "pretty girls" and I was not one. FML

#5877463
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49331) - you deserved it (4998)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:32am - misc - by omgwtf (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was the elections for Student Council President. I decided to be nice and vote for the only other competitor because it was her birthday. I lost by one vote. FML

#5876259
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17957) - you deserved it (48187)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:25am - misc - by presidont (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm 'so slow a turtle could kick my ass' and that he has 'a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend.' FML

#5876012
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16487) - you deserved it (33860)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:30am - misc - by cheat - United States (Texas)

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

#5875865
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37981) - you deserved it (7278)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late - he said 'Oh, something came up'. I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML

#5874542
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (1892)

On 10/18/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by karina17 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

#5870216
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34856) - you deserved it (3809)

On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

#5869946
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15490) - you deserved it (39184)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

#5865685
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (7251)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by AdriBAMF - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh... Thats actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

#5862542
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29622) - you deserved it (7743)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by oopsjsp90 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a phone interview for a job I've had my eye on forever. I was dumped a few hours before the interview, but was okay until I was put on hold with music playing. Me and my boyfriend's song came on and I started bawling. I could hardly talk when they took me off hold. FML

#5862526
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (9032)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:39am - misc - by amya (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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