Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41513) - you deserved it (3112)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML

#21090670
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33821) - you deserved it (3135)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34724) - you deserved it (3391)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32365) - you deserved it (4548)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML

#21089097
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (3224)

On 03/17/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by IMAWAKE - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (5422)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML

#21087397
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32874) - you deserved it (3193)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by nerdlette (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, my friend told me that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Since he's my friend, I didn't want to call him out too bad, so I joked that 90% of statistics are made up on the spot. He called me an idiot and lectured me on how I'd just made that figure up myself. I need new friends. FML

#21086436
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31964) - you deserved it (4916)

On 03/14/2014 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

#21086220
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (3234)

On 03/14/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

#21085874
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (10029)

On 03/13/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Venus - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37014) - you deserved it (5571)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

#21084790
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40994) - you deserved it (4694)

On 03/12/2014 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: