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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

#6230893
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30265) - you deserved it (9344)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by LoserOfTheYear (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

#6228349
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33485) - you deserved it (4007)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

#6228123
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32312) - you deserved it (2576)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

#6225217
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13309) - you deserved it (47743)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by fuck_thisshit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

#6224810
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28831) - you deserved it (3457)

On 11/09/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML

#6223304
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (4352)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by Abr829 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

#6222787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (4723)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by miseventshappen - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML

#6222745
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (5184)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

#6211440
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (12921)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm - misc - by lauren_rox (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (7276)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "It tastes like a s***!" I said. His wife baked it. FML

#6209911
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7394) - you deserved it (48510)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Cakeman (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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