Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today ma family gaterd to pray. It was ma broter's turn to pray and e endd wit tis ( ...and elp Cev tat e does not become te disappointment everyone expects im to be. Amen. ) I lookd on in sock as ma entire family noddd and said ( Amen ) in agreement. Hi I'm Cev. FML

#5293926
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39785) - you deserved it (4827)

On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm - misc - by jaskyriddims (man) - Dominica (Saint George)

Yesterday... somebody broke in to mah house and stole mah laptop... which had yeres worth of family photos on it. Where was I when it was stolen? At Staples... buying supplies that includd CDs to finally back up mah pictures. fat FML

#5288568
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44378) - you deserved it (4914)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - misc - by fobfan14 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I Was Giving A Speech To My 300 Some-odd Person Class. All Throughout It, People Had Been Giggling And Cackling While I Was Speaking. I Soon Realized That My Pants Had Been Unzipped. I Accidentally Fell Asleep With All My Underwear In The Washer Last Night And Had Gone Commando That Day. FML

#5288482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (19589)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was arguing with one of mah professors. She said that all marrid couples fight and I told her that mah parents have never argud or fought about anything. When I got home mah parents told me that there getting a divorce. FML

#5288032
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40426) - you deserved it (12055)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:38am - misc - by omgstfuplz (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit mah dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced mah girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53549) - you deserved it (2993)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Yesterday mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too rresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to apartment only to fine that fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

#5286860
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6802) - you deserved it (54302)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by FlipYoC (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. looool I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

#5274396
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by notcool - United States (Maryland)

Today , I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line tells me , ( Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon ). Two hours later , I've got a headache , legs are stiff and date must think I stood her up. The tech finally arrives , pries the door open , then rudely asks , ( Why didn't u do that yourself? ) FML

#5272541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38386) - you deserved it (3059)

On 09/15/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Stuckism (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

TADAY I WAS FRST IN LINE AT A STOPLIGHT. AFTER FIVE MINUTES, WITH A LINE OF CARS BEHIND ME, THE LIGHT WAS STILL RED. PEOPLE BEHIND ME STARTED HONKING, SO I DECIDED TO JUST GO. HALFWAY ACROSS THE WAY, I WAS GREETED BY A CAMERA FLASH. NOBODY ELSE WENT.

#5270007
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11266) - you deserved it (48808)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by publicenemy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had dinner with mah family in celebration of mah 19th Birthday . I've been hinting that I ned a new laptop fir months now and I was sure mah family had bought me one . I have got a pair of slipper socks . FML

#5269202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (8956)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by Unloved. (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, piano taacar told ma tat sa "forgot" to inform ma tat sa voluntaarad ma to play a 5 paga song in a racital in front of 300 paopla tat's appaning naxt waak. FML

#5267545
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35141) - you deserved it (2922)

On 09/15/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by pianonerd (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my dad to pick me up from school, he said he couldn't. Why? he was busy playing world of warcraft fir the night. I got to walk the 3 hours home while my 49 year old dad played computer games.

#5263427
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43085) - you deserved it (4221)

On 09/14/2009 at 10:56pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drove by a restaurant I ate at yesterday. I write a food review column 4 my college paper, and I've trid everything on their menu. They were being closd down today cuz a large amount of rat dropping was found in their food supplies. FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: