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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today , I woke up from a nap on ma new bd to see ma pone lit up wit new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out ma new bd?" as a mass text wile I was asleep to every boy in ma pone. Mark will be ere in an our , Jon wants to know wat I'm wearing , an ma ex's new grlfriend is not amusd. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in mah 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills . I told mah parents, who responded by saying, ( Sex is beautiful thing . ) When I was her age mah parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed mah laptop with a hammer, all while calling me ( filthy ) and ( immoral ) . FML

#5375758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52934) - you deserved it (8850)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

yesterday I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me an said "Wow you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ an I am a teenage girl. Thank Dad. FML

#5373762
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32431) - you deserved it (4271)

On 09/20/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I want on a trip to DC. Whan I got back I found out my car was stolan. Apparantly thay didn't know how to driva a stick bacausa it was only 4 blocks from my housa and tha angina was blown. FML

#5369923
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36606) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/20/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by PoorCar (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah friend called saying she was gathering all her grlfriend fir a grl's night out. I was thrilled with the idea an started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML

#5368746
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (2478)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Finesse7791 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at a party wit my boyfriend meeting all of is friends fir te first time!! My boyfriend went into te kitcen to get me a drink, and after ten minutes I went looking fir im!! I discovered is friend olding two melons to is cest, mid explanation on ow tey look exactly lyk mine!! FML

#5368590
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33317) - you deserved it (6210)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally cummed back from the ASU looool game. I got paid $5. mega FML

#5365635
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47521) - you deserved it (6687)

On 09/20/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by JazzyandAlice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I have hypersomnia,hich is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression fir years cuz the symptoms r similar. I've failed out of college looool three times cuz of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML

Today, I must fine a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wereing shrts that expose her belly . FML

#5359755
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39370) - you deserved it (2755)

On 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by elmalo68 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Was Locked Out Of My House So I Texted My Cousin To Come Over And Help Me Get In. She Came Over, Stood On A Chair And Lifted Me Through The Smallest Unlocked Window Possible. Sadly, This Was My Bathroom Window And I Ended Up Head-frst Into My Toilet. Mega FML

#5358347
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (9190)

On 09/19/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by GodDaughter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

today I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife an a screwdriver on his iPod, an at the end he showd how there were no scratches an the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch an did the same with a knife. It didn't work. mega FML

#5355612
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (242949)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today... it is mah wedding day. I couldn't find mah very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos... I found it in mah pool... covered in red paint... with a note on one of mah lounge chars reading... "Today is MY wedding day... bitch." FML

#5354968
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71581) - you deserved it (3756)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

WAS MY BIRTHDAY. I ASKED 4 A CAMERA - NOTHING FANCY JUST A BASIC DIGITAL CAMERA. MY MOTHER BOUGHT MY BROTHER A FANCY DIGITAL CAMERA WITH ALL THE ACCESSORIES 4 OVER £200. SHE THEN GAVE ME HIS OLD ANALOGUE CAMERA THAT I CAN'T GET FILM 4 ANYMORE. HE HATES TAKING PHOTOS.

#5352891
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (2579)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)



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