Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, while at a bar a woman of about 40 came up to me and asked me to dance, and being only 20 I thought I had met the perfect "cougar" for a one night stand. After a few up-beat dances, a slower song came on and we continued to dance. She started sobbing and claimed I was the son she never had. FML

#7334012
79 comments

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

#7332045
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7863) - you deserved it (62485)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by mackenzie_cain (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was facebook stalking this really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

#7331579
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8931) - you deserved it (42324)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

#7327213
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8158) - you deserved it (38629)

On 01/13/2010 at 9:04pm - misc - by nekkiddrunk - United States

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (3452)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

#7321652
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5655) - you deserved it (78920)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a warm shower when someone in my house flushed the toilet, making the shower extremely hot. In my rush to get out so I wouldn't get burned, I slipped and knocked a tooth out. FML

#7321633
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (4186)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by soccercrazed1520 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39505) - you deserved it (4805)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

#7313785
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7080) - you deserved it (48812)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by Creepster (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

#7313469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (3327)

On 01/13/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by SMRT (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (5300)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed there was a red truck following me. I walked as fast as I could. I then ran. It followed. I slipped on some ice and fell. I was unable to get up. It stopped beside me and the driver got out. I then said hello to my husband's new car. FML

#7305863
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15300) - you deserved it (22212)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by meee (woman) - United States (Georgia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: