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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8944) - you deserved it (33739)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went for a run in a new pair of shoes that left me with huge blisters. As I finished cleaning them up so they could heal, I limped to my bed to take a nap. I was woken by the fire alarm. My building was having a drill and we couldn't use the elevators. I live on the 9th floor. FML

#6296943
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (3257)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by runner - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (6008)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after getting my car completely fixed after it being damaged for a year, I was driving and the entire side panel on the car fell off. The repair man forgot to put the screws back in. FML

#6289150
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (1803)

On 11/13/2009 at 4:23pm - misc - by 205 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (13125)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (6237)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

#6285115
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (5629)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML

#6283457
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35491) - you deserved it (2025)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by mynameis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (3251)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

#6283221
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41964) - you deserved it (2708)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by ournhd (man) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

#6273710
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (8842)

On 11/12/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

#6271933
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21864) - you deserved it (9464)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Sursion (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

#6270812
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37943) - you deserved it (2685)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore



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