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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23000) - you deserved it (7045)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML

#6068555
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (11854)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by JZ (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

#6068471
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (37875)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by Coach (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (2293)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

#6065931
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6402) - you deserved it (47580)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

#6065888
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35180) - you deserved it (1929)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML

#6065412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24223) - you deserved it (5963)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by effinit (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

#6062810
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40214) - you deserved it (3494)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:00pm - misc - by Bummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (7290)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML

#6057828
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6169) - you deserved it (65190)

On 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I work as a cashier, and Iike always I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I recieved a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

#6057251
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28190) - you deserved it (2575)

On 10/29/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML

#6054945
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32613) - you deserved it (6273)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by girlthatstoofat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stares which I was receiving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind came and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML

#6053376
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9729) - you deserved it (50810)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by TrueScotsman (man) - United States (Alabama)



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