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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a man stopped me to tell me I was the most beautiful woman he'd seen all day. He promptly followed that up with: "Then again, you are the only woman I've seen today, so, it can only go up from here." FML

#6447194
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you deserved it (2735)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by saywhatnow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML

#6445574
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38896) - you deserved it (2725)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by B_McG - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that there is a limit to being thrifty. For example buying a pan from the dollar store is most likely going to cost a lot more than a few dollars. Especially when it melts all over your stove which you now have to replace. FML

#6445048
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11596) - you deserved it (29465)

On 11/25/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by Drim (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML

#6441818
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (2570)

On 11/25/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by buggedout (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (1742)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31756) - you deserved it (2035)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

#6440907
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7789) - you deserved it (24593)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by md - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

#6439665
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13349) - you deserved it (38547)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (14490)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

#6439470
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27941) - you deserved it (1896)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70550) - you deserved it (12145)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44689) - you deserved it (2448)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6434122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (11243)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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