Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

#5911191
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35980) - you deserved it (6817)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

#5910203
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (5612)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

#5908377
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5753) - you deserved it (41388)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by gunman (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML

#5903706
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12199) - you deserved it (31956)

On 10/19/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by LAXsucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got pulled over for going 85mph in a 60mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch even though the other cars were topping 100mph. FML

#5899039
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (15359)

On 10/19/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by tracey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

#5897167
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (13827)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was ordering food at McDonalds when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML

#5896652
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29660) - you deserved it (7176)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by ThePidgeon (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

#5896023
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11173) - you deserved it (30679)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60738) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

#5892074
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47578) - you deserved it (2900)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Indonesia (Jawa Timur)

Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML

#5888357
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (2245)

On 10/18/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by NUsConstantine (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spilled a half bottle of superglue on my hands. I also found out that cold water only makes it harden faster. FML

#5878070
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (14476)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:38pm - misc - by Xia (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML



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