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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

#6369387
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9795) - you deserved it (24431)

On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (6010)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

#6366811
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (3992)

On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

#6365565
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

#6365163
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6476) - you deserved it (43825)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by Cellphonetroubles - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

#6364949
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8159) - you deserved it (27284)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

#6362142
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40674) - you deserved it (2842)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by screwed - United States (New York)

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

#6357230
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7806) - you deserved it (37510)

On 11/18/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by ggbhghggg - United States (Missouri)

Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML

#6356317
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7592) - you deserved it (62978)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

#6355717
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12494) - you deserved it (48111)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (2884)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML

#6352873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13912) - you deserved it (67407)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by omgitserika - United States (California)

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

#6351238
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8819) - you deserved it (29878)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by ohjoy (woman) - United States (California)



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