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today I was carrying several bags of grocerie up the stair to mah 3rd story apartmenthen I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall toward me. I screamed and dropped mah groceries...hich went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor... destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. fat FML

#5798950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10046) - you deserved it (32521)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by n_london (woman) - United States (Arizona)

TODAY MY "FUTURE" WIFE GOT DRUNK IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS WHO SHE WAS MEETING 4 THE FIRST TIME. SHE CALLED MY DAD A PIECE OF SHIT AN TOLD MY MOM SHE WANTS TO TEAR HER OWN EYES OUT. REAL FML

#5794322
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (5283)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was in the toilethen somebody startd banging on the door loudly. I panickd an immediately cleand mah self an opend the door. As I opend the door, mah brother vomitd all over me. FML

#5793982
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30614) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:21am - misc - by thisisbad (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today... I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smild. He smild back and blushd a little. He walkd over and I flrtd with him. He said... "I thought you should know the zipper on yur jeans is down" and walkd away. It was. FML

#5793907
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (6134)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the ( worst ) because I don't go to church every Sunday.

#5791977
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46038) - you deserved it (10037)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my electricity went out. Te electric company said it was cuz te bill was at least 4 monts overdue. Apparently, I ave been paying for my roommate to go out and party for weeks. FML

#5790955
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32376) - you deserved it (3622)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. mega FML

#5789871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29932) - you deserved it (4212)

On 10/12/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by ohgosh (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, wife asked me if she looked cute in a new dress that she bought earlier today. I told her that she almost looks like a supermodel. Appereantly ( almost ) doesn't cut it. Guess who's sleeping on the couch. FML

#5785501
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32197) - you deserved it (11221)

On 10/11/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by keepmouthshut (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that boyfriend hides valuables in the washing machine under dirty cloths when leaving town for the weekend. I learned this AFTER I'd done a load of laundry. FML

#5781865
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25570) - you deserved it (2876)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by washed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I went in mah room to play mah guitar. I found mah Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out mah grandma cut them off because I was playing ( Devil's Music. ) real FML

#5775880
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45095) - you deserved it (3309)

On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37116) - you deserved it (2496)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)

I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wantd to make it a realistic as possible but endd up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55007) - you deserved it (27819)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today I raalizd I'va baan acting vary paranoid lataly. I was muggd a faw waaks ago so I'va baan narvous. I'va baan holding mah hands in mah pockats an looking around on mah way outsida from work. Apparantly that's grounds to arrast somaona undar suspicion of carrying a concaald waapon. FML

#5773283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (2999)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by PackingSpaceHeat (man) - United States (New York)



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