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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34164) - you deserved it (2827)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

#6725096
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8745) - you deserved it (35115)

On 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Icci (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss' 13 year old son. FML

#6724461
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6367) - you deserved it (43580)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by ash203 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to perform with my Orchestra at an event. I hadn't eaten at all because I had to get my blood sugar tested. During the middle of a song I passed out. No one helped me and no one stopped playing "because the song wasn't over and they didn't want to ruin the performance." FML

#6724178
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (5838)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6680) - you deserved it (37772)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

#6722674
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (6113)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by colorfulgina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44060) - you deserved it (3812)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

#6722034
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26854) - you deserved it (3776)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm - misc - by Goosey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

#6719670
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31641) - you deserved it (3321)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML

#6716772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27969) - you deserved it (7932)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter for my Bio final at 8AM and drinking 6 sodas, 3 energy drinks, and coffee throughout the night, an hour into the exam, I had to go to the restroom, so I get permission and go. I'm 1 of 3 people. They later find a cheat sheet in the restroom. Now I'm a suspect. FML

#6716496
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (4045)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by fuckbio (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

#6714593
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (2477)

On 12/11/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by Childhood (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11153) - you deserved it (28903)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)



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