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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

#6537885
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31633) - you deserved it (8781)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Stressmess - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML

#6535314
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (8226)

On 11/30/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48421) - you deserved it (3164)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

#6532769
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31209) - you deserved it (9094)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML

#6532310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29400) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (13083)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (5453)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got the repair estimate for my car. It is going to cost me $3,000 to rebuild the front end. It was wrecked because a couple decided to have a lovers spat in the middle of the freeway. I had that car for exactly four hours. FML

#6527838
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (2359)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Dante (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my very traditional parents told me that I should start a savings account for my marriage. I told them that I wouldn't get married until much later because I don't even have a boyfriend yet. They said, "Don't worry we already found a boy for you." FML

#6527695
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36357) - you deserved it (3566)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25168) - you deserved it (2782)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

#6519803
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (5520)

On 11/29/2009 at 7:47pm - misc - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

#6517705
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (3100)

On 11/29/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14528) - you deserved it (39006)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)



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