Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML

#8430182
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6630) - you deserved it (28861)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Skankeriffic (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got banned from my boyfriend's house for being an "insurance liability." FML

#8423454
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (4092)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I chuckled at a "no smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

#8417763
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6277) - you deserved it (68238)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by kaycie_lynn (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finished my classwork and my homework early. Since we weren't allowed to leave the room, I decided to draw. My teacher noticed and gave me detention for "goofing off" when I should be doing my work. When I told the teacher I was already done, they gave me a second detention for "attempting to defy them". FML

#8410028
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34169) - you deserved it (2897)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by fannylover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realised I know the map on World of Warcraft better than the map of my own country. FML

#8407366
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9526) - you deserved it (43186)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by DLS - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

#8404119
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (6860)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:01am - misc - by mylifeisahell - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (2733)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

#8397954
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (3474)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Lizzielollipop816 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

#8396917
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29952) - you deserved it (1951)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by ApparentlyEmo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was leaving Wal-Mart with my daughter when a man was speeding the wrong way in the parking lot. To avoid getting hit, I pulled over to the side. He thought I was going the wrong way. He got out cursing and screaming and punched a dent in my hood. FML

#8388229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (2304)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:46pm - misc - by WTFsalad (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a club with my friends and my friend got really drunk. Later on he came up to me and said he really needed to pee but he was too drunk to work the zipper, and asked if I could help. When I finally unzipped him, he was so desperate to go he pissed in my face. FML

#8382475
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26207) - you deserved it (9618)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by missunlucky (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I noticed that my ceiling was sagging slightly. I got up on to a chair to look at it more closely, and I touched it. Turns out that my ceiling was full of water. It went everywhere, ruining my new iPod, phone, and all the things my daughter bought for university. FML

#8375974
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (4667)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by ceilingssuck (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (3614)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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