Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70491) - you deserved it (12131)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41966) - you deserved it (2271)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up after taking a sleep pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores including paying bills when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6434122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (11099)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

#6431680
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8763) - you deserved it (25413)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

#6422707
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (2194)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Yue (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in a closet of a four star hotel, having spent the night drinking. I am a secondary school teacher and I have been visiting this place on a school trip. My flight left at 4am this morning and it's now 1pm in the afternoon. FML

#6421481
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6495) - you deserved it (53880)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Nicholasand (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

#6421285
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31580) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by ellie (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

#6420753
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (5260)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by PaperInfection (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

#6418903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8556) - you deserved it (35609)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I saw one of my favorite hockey players in public. I had met him once before, and to my shock, he remembered me. I was pretty excited until he started talking to his friend in French. He didn't seem to realize that I'm fluent in the language. He basically called me "ugly psycho bitch." FML

#6417611
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35881) - you deserved it (6155)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by frenchgirl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML

#6416233
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35109) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

#6414325
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7867) - you deserved it (39105)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by drunkennight (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, while looking through a stack of possible pictures for Facebook, I found one I really liked, until I noticed that I have recently developed a bald patch. Problem? I am a 22 year old woman. FML

#6408288
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28895) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wyoming)



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