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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today,hilst holding a hand rail on a packd bus, I was rubbing mah hand along, and playing with,hat I thought was a join in the metal. It was an old woman's finger. FML

#5924730
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10879) - you deserved it (30061)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by FingerBang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

yesterday te driver side mirror of my car was smasd off and laying on te ground. On te window was a $75.00 ticket fir improper equipment fir not aving a mirror. FML

#5923443
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (1665)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Timebaseboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decidd to take a personal day from class and e-maild all of mah profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbuck later, someone behind me says "Glad your feeling better. Hope u can attend class tomorrow, we'll discus lying." It was mah Ethic professor. FML

#5921538
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (53874)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I LOST MAH HOUSE KEYS WHILE STAGGERING HOME DRUNK, SO I DECIDED TO CLIMB THROUGH AN OPENED WINDOW AN PROMPTLY WENT TO BED!! TWENTY MINUTE LATER THE POLICE WAKE ME UP WHILE ATTEMPTING TO SEARCH MAH PLACE!! THE NEIGHBOR THOUGHT I WAS A BURGLAR AN CALLED THE COPS!! MEGA FML

#5916110
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11320) - you deserved it (31444)

On 10/20/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by FailedEngineer (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Taday mah boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out , he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. big fat FML

#5914745
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12438) - you deserved it (74124)

On 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by jaxattax (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at mah twin brother fir getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says ( It's not mine. ) Confused , I look at the ticket and see mah name. He used mah license. FML

#5913755
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45114) - you deserved it (4204)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to mah desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup looool drenched mah Nintendo DS, and printer. FML

#5913009
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11035) - you deserved it (37920)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today , in front of a bunch of people on college campus , mom grabbed hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML

#5912690
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (4314)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by Watchyourstep - Sent from mobile version

Today , I learned that if u make fun of a man for walking with looool a cane , you'd better be ready for him to hit u with it. FML

#5912025
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6945) - you deserved it (151008)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm - misc - by stick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today... some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with there knife out... I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted... arrested and held fir questioning by the police. The mugger fell... stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53745) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Taday for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. big fat FML

#5911191
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (6811)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, my ouse got robbd,ile I was upstars taking a dump. FML

#5910203
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43241) - you deserved it (5609)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I was showing mah friend's dad an arsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him , I thought it would be funny to do a fake , upwards "pistolhip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

#5908377
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5529) - you deserved it (40647)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by gunman (man) - United States (Washington)



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