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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

#6080955
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (24034)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chatting with a friend on msn. She told me a few days ago a Halloween party we had been planning was canceled because her parents said no at the last moment. Wanting to cheer her up, I went to her house to surprise her. I guess the party wasn't canceled after all. FML

#6078051
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (2396)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by a (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

#6077222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8617) - you deserved it (26802)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by RyanTheMan15 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was using the only stall left in a public restroom; a handicap stall. As I sat down to do my business, I felt something warm dripping down my leg. I looked down to see me urinating on myself through the raised seat. FML

#6075541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (27329)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:36pm - misc - by JynxQueen - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago "told her that I was cheating on her," telepathically. FML

#6075479
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35421) - you deserved it (2643)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by iGotSkill (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

#6073802
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11606) - you deserved it (29074)

On 10/30/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Missedtheboat (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (35771)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that when they put "Take with food" on the side of antibiotics, what they really mean is "Take with food because this stuff is gonna liquefy everything in your G.I. tract, and make you have to run out of the middle of calculus for the worst diarrhea ever." FML

#6069034
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (9770)

On 10/30/2009 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

#6068781
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (7039)

On 10/30/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I submitted my 5000 word assignment. When I got home, my mother asked if I'd checked it through one more time like she always warned me to do. I hadn't. And I therefore hadn't noticed the paragraph on p11 that she'd written, telling me to pay attention to the small details. FML

#6068555
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (11842)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by JZ (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

#6068471
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7061) - you deserved it (37804)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by Coach (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38579) - you deserved it (2290)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

#6065931
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6382) - you deserved it (47519)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)



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