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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML

#6255254
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (40002)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by Sybil90 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I did laundry in my apartment complex's laundry room. I put my stuff in the dryer and returned to my room. The sign on the door says the laundry room closes at 10 pm, but that's rarely true. Tonight it was. I have to wait until 8 am. I work at 7:30. My work clothes are in there. FML

#6253724
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8395) - you deserved it (35739)

On 11/11/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Miserable (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML

#6253497
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32752) - you deserved it (7264)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by Saphira (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

#6252858
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (3788)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by carsuck (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50091) - you deserved it (3155)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

#6251729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by Danners88 (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11008) - you deserved it (74163)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

#6246770
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6685) - you deserved it (35542)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by Abby (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML

#6245965
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (3540)

On 11/10/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36317) - you deserved it (3016)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32387) - you deserved it (2268)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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