Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

#6915702
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9666) - you deserved it (30338)

On 12/24/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by FlGirl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I flew my wife, myself and three kids to pay a surprise visit to my parents who were going to be alone for Christmas. When we arrived, we found out they decided to go on vacation. We have nowhere to go. FML

#6914646
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11939) - you deserved it (25663)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by homeless4Christmas (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (2251)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML

#6908473
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (5025)

On 12/23/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by rie (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was telling my entire cocktail party about the time I accidentally flashed my volleyball team at a pool party. While trying to demonstrate how it happened, I accidentally pulled my dress down and flashed everyone again. FML

#6904777
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (41558)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

#6904447
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (2745)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by extraflavour - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

#6903052
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22718) - you deserved it (2287)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:56pm - misc - by fml_forever32 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my report card from school. I pulled my grade up in Algebra from a D to an A. My parents told me that they never expected me to accomplish this, and good job but they've already enrolled me in boarding school. So much for all that extra credit and staying late after school to study. FML

#6900701
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30325) - you deserved it (3195)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by bee (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26566) - you deserved it (4422)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11693) - you deserved it (64248)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

#6892202
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37871) - you deserved it (2122)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:53pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML

#6888984
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10307) - you deserved it (25275)

On 12/22/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by themonkeyman - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

#6888473
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30173) - you deserved it (3939)

On 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by everyonewasstaring (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)



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