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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (4539)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

#21401116
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (2849)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by PPP - United States

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36221) - you deserved it (2624)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

#21400331
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26118) - you deserved it (8987)

On 04/26/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by rookiemistake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28618) - you deserved it (4451)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML

#21399187
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (2443)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by Caroline1812 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (7699)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

#21399007
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22199) - you deserved it (11848)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm - misc - by Kira (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (5523)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (8017)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)



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