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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up after a two-day drive to go to my cousin's wedding. The view is beautiful, there's mountains everywhere, and my new backless dress is gorgeous. Too bad the hotel has bed bugs and my whole body is entirely covered in bright red bumps. FML

#21518411
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21773) - you deserved it (1437)

On 01/23/2016 at 12:25am - misc - by wedding leper - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

#21518195
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (5094)

On 01/22/2016 at 2:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, one of my professors left a cabinet door open whilst teaching class. The compulsion to get up and close it was so strong that I could barely concentrate on what was being taught. FML

Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML

#21518118
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (3023)

On 01/22/2016 at 7:50am - misc - by whattheactualfuck (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML

Today, I realised what kind of man I married when I finally shelved his book, "Getting Things Done", still untouched 3 months after buying it. FML

#21517718
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16675) - you deserved it (2374)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

#21517709
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (1546)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:08am - misc - by ur_life_dus_suck - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm so lazy, I dread getting up early on days that haven't arrived yet. For stuff I actually like doing, too. FML

#21517707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16885) - you deserved it (4838)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:00am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mom called me by her favorite TV show character's name. Again. This is the eighth time this week. I'm an only child, and I'm 15. I thought she had my name down pat by now. FML

#21517589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (1262)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:48pm - misc - by my name is sarah - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

#21517390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17523) - you deserved it (9636)

On 01/20/2016 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jennifer (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized how much of a nutter my mother really is as she decided to write on a high visibility vest a "warning" that all foreigners, especially refugees, want to rape German women. She now wants to wear it each and every day in our hometown. FML

#21517384
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17628) - you deserved it (1527)

On 01/20/2016 at 2:00pm - misc - by ashamed - Germany

Today, 9 years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late 20s. FML

#21517297
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/20/2016 at 7:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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