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Man or woman?

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

#21386294
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13510) - you deserved it (26723)

On 04/02/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by banana12321 - United States (California)

Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

#21386064
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (2084)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by dumbbus - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I was sent the script to a play I'm participating in at school. After reading it a couple of times, I noticed that my part has been forgotten completely. FML

#21386014
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22691) - you deserved it (1695)

On 04/01/2015 at 6:09pm - misc - by ThirteenThirteen (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

#21385728
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27728) - you deserved it (2045)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by megan - United States (Florida)

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

#21385588
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21036) - you deserved it (5856)

On 04/01/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by curseyousuperman (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML

#21384778
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15085) - you deserved it (18039)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by ip7 - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I found out there's a support page on Facebook for people who have been "hurt" by me. FML

#21384648
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16094) - you deserved it (29615)

On 03/31/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by SupportPage - United States (California)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27518) - you deserved it (2336)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML

#21384017
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18248) - you deserved it (23402)

On 03/30/2015 at 5:19am - misc - by getoffthephone - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24187) - you deserved it (2052)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (12445)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (2315)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

#21383398
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (2170)

On 03/29/2015 at 2:38am - misc - by Kryometric - United States (Washington)



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