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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30938) - you deserved it (2874)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26532) - you deserved it (6858)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

#21396139
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (2914)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:08am - misc - by Anunimos (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

#21395867
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28409) - you deserved it (3015)

On 04/18/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Armstrong (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

#21395531
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29184) - you deserved it (2470)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by assault and imnotracistbuttery (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (3406)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

#21395232
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33165) - you deserved it (3401)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by testom - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (2677)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16488) - you deserved it (32405)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28295) - you deserved it (3334)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

#21394027
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36585) - you deserved it (2604)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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