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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

#21356363
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (3141)

On 02/14/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Rubyscooby212 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30368) - you deserved it (2052)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

#21355845
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34807) - you deserved it (1832)

On 02/14/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by secret - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34391) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34269) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML

#21355416
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by jostertoaster12 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (1833)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

#21355326
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (2927)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

#21354690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (5688)

On 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm - misc - by ahhhhhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML

#21354679
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33038) - you deserved it (2198)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you deserved it (35255)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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Friday 27 February 2015

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