Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2016 at 11:18am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

by FriendlessLoser / 08/17/2016 at 3:11am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend crashed our car into the car ahead. He was trying to pull away from the traffic lights faster than the person next to us, a ten-year-old kid on a bicycle. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2016 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady that lives next to me. Funny enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom who lived with me. FML

by anonymous adult / 08/15/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

by LostInSunday / 08/15/2016 at 4:11am / Miscellaneous

Today, I should be starting my last year of college next week. But no. My old advisor messed up my schedule so badly that there's no way I'll graduate for another year. So I'll be in school five years for a four year program because as a freshman I thought my advisor was helping me. FML

by PineapplePizza / 08/15/2016 at 3:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a birthday card from my dad, over a week late. It was addressed to me using my maiden name, the enclosed check also made out to me using my maiden name. I've been married for over 10 years. FML

by anonymous / 08/14/2016 at 11:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, despite having a bunch of work and school related things to do, I made time to go visit family I hadn't seen in a while. The main topic of discussion was how fat I've gotten. FML

by mcfatty / 08/14/2016 at 12:21am / India (Karnataka) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke to the sound of my baby crying at 4 a.m. I also heard my partner snoring, knowing he was not beside me and the baby was not in her crib, I went into the nursery. There was my crying baby laying across my snoring partner's chest. Guess he fell asleep during feeding time. FML

Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML

by stinkystinky / 08/12/2016 at 1:32pm / Miscellaneous

Today, all of my friends bailed from the birthday party I was throwing myself. This was also after they had encouraged me for months to have one, knowing I'd never had my birthday celebrated before. FML

by Its My BDay I Can Cry If I Want To / 08/10/2016 at 12:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 11:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous