Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML

#21432298
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26601) - you deserved it (2468)

On 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Good Parenting? - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

#21432224
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (2622)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by mytoehurts - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to visit my mother after many years. Her hoarding has gotten so bad that now the house is entirely filled with junk and garbage, and she is camping out in the jungle of a backyard, cooking on a cauldron over a fire and shitting in the compost pile, with no working heat or water. FML

#21431843
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (2083)

On 06/25/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by childofcrazy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21431826
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (6203)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by sweetsixteenyay - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me a bad driver. Imagine their smugness when I had to call them two hours later and tell them that I drove into a pole. FML

#21431656
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16253) - you deserved it (22137)

On 06/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by ApparentlyBadDriver - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

#21431507
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (8142)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by WhyIHateTeachers - United States (Florida)

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35627) - you deserved it (2121)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (1569)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (1954)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

#21430672
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (3787)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

#21430623
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (2034)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:57am - misc - by cAPITOLpORN - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (5504)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: