Today, while doing the grocery shopping with my boyfriend we came across another woman also out shopping, who looked shockingly like me despite her being another race, hair color and the like. The second he saw her, he blurted out, ''Oh, it's a pretty version of you!'' FML

by FuglyBetty / 02/24/2016 at 5:48pm / Norway (Aust-Agder) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 12:58pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my stepdad's funeral. He was the most important person in my life, but it didn't stop my stepsister angrily saying, "Why are you crying? He wasn't even your real dad." FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 10:05am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my required district science fair with my project about gliders and was a bit unprepared in terms of personal knowledge on the science behind gliders. I was hoping I would get a judge who didn't know a lot about aerodynamics. One of my judges was a glider pilot. FML

by rmonk / 02/24/2016 at 8:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML

by BikerGuy / 02/24/2016 at 1:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my English professor bragged to my entire class about how good my essay was. He kept on saying great things about it for the duration of class. To my surprise, he'd given me a C-. When I asked why, his only response was: "I'm a hard grader." FML

by hardgraderorhardass / 02/23/2016 at 11:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was shopping, a girl walked past me and said, "Hola!" I'm Indian. FML

Today, my sister convinced my girlfriend that I cheated on her. All because I took the first slice of her birthday cake. FML

by Mr. X / 02/23/2016 at 12:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a concert. At the end, my conductor was recognizing soloists. When he pointed at me, I was confused, but stood up anyway. It turns out he was pointing at the person behind me. I had to awkwardly sit back down in front of over 500 people. FML

by captainwhiskers / 02/23/2016 at 7:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife of 10 years bought me a bottle of wine, a wine rack and wine accessory kit for my birthday. She knows I don't like wine. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I will be leaving for the US Marine Corps in June, and the presidential election is in November. I could potentially be serving with Trump as my Commander-in-Chief. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2016 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous