Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

#21330219
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (9354)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:42pm - misc - by Malina - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26763) - you deserved it (4023)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (2090)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

#21329473
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29104) - you deserved it (8595)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

#21329401
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30458) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/02/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by tokinallday - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (2169)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when my roommate asked me what was wrong, I told him that something I ate was making me feel sick. He works 10+ hours a day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that the putrid smell of his feet was making me nauseous. FML

#21329068
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (4081)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:36am - misc - by jitterbug (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (11231)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

#21328812
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (6674)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by CK95 - United States

Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML

#21328432
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26195) - you deserved it (4087)

On 01/01/2015 at 3:52am - misc - by sandwhiched - United States (California)

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

#21328260
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (5893)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:25am - misc - by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had numerous calls from people saying they need a baby sitter, because "they know I wasn't invited anywhere". FML

#21328036
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28530) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/31/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Yeah-It's-Just-Me - Australia (New South Wales)



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