Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (12542)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

#21363273
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (2022)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

#21363177
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (11644)

On 02/25/2015 at 5:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

#21362753
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (4221)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:13pm - misc - by whiteycan'tgetitrightey - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32584) - you deserved it (2706)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML

#21362244
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (4730)

On 02/23/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by MDoremis - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

#21361818
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33229) - you deserved it (2521)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm - misc - by looking4newvenue (woman) - United States

Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML

#21361801
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31671) - you deserved it (2994)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Wutdafuqq (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34545) - you deserved it (2906)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32343) - you deserved it (4781)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, I competed in a Tae Kwon Do competition. I came third with my team in the sparring event. My mum said as a joke, "Were there only 3 teams?" There were. FML

#21361215
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (3894)

On 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by tom28402 - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: