Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

#21421168
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (1930)

On 06/05/2015 at 9:42am - misc - by Dig4life - United States (Washington)

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

#21420967
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (2296)

On 06/04/2015 at 11:01pm - misc - by jared576 -

Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML

#21420583
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (1939)

On 06/04/2015 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

#21420551
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (3213)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:59am - misc - by bloody hell (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML

#21420204
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (1884)

On 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by dump truck hater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

#21420156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (2071)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by NoUsernamHere - United States

Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

#21420064
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (1678)

On 06/03/2015 at 2:03am - misc - by she has dumbcuntitis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29459) - you deserved it (3953)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

#21419812
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (14570)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by lanaoftherey - United States

Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML

#21419681
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28065) - you deserved it (2760)

On 06/02/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Milo (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)



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