Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

#21332025
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27532) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/06/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

#21331973
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (4274)

On 01/06/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (2185)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

#21331513
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (1942)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:15pm - misc - by anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML

#21331498
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26351) - you deserved it (1800)

On 01/05/2015 at 6:47pm - misc - by ivegotapackage (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

#21331330
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33796) - you deserved it (2317)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:52pm - misc - by help (woman) - Malta

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

#21331081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38494) - you deserved it (2648)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:27am - misc - by shittysituation - United States (California)

Today, I finally noticed after months of having the same cover photo on several websites, that it looks like I have a bushel of armpit hair due to a shadow. FML

#21331000
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25066) - you deserved it (4282)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by pits (woman) -

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

#21330766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (3276)

On 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm - misc - by KD (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

#21330219
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28707) - you deserved it (9354)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:42pm - misc - by Malina - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML

#21329640
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26763) - you deserved it (4023)

On 01/02/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by whatajerk (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (2090)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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