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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28108) - you deserved it (7721)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

#21439671
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (2564)

On 07/10/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

#21439587
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23656) - you deserved it (2900)

On 07/10/2015 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (3008)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

#21439528
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (1869)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49am - misc - by Stevarious (man) - United States (California)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (4669)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

#21438785
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (1996)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm - misc - by ZiggyTink - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while visiting family in Taipei, I came across a large button that said "PUSH" on it. I was curious and pushed it. A deafening alarm then sounded for the next 10 minutes, attracting concerned neighbours and finally a security guard who informed me that I'd pushed a panic button. FML

#21438499
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (9640)

On 07/08/2015 at 12:30pm - misc - by whoops (woman) - Taiwan

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26362) - you deserved it (1629)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
71 comments

Today, I spent more time driving to my vacation spot than actually vacationing. FML

#21438049
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (3864)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Hue - United States

Today, I just finished a driving school that I thought would lower my insurance by 10%. It was 30 hours so I was glad it was over, that was until I found out I took the wrong class. FML

#21438040
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (7925)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:20pm - misc - by HowToGetFired - United States (Florida)



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