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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

#21509618
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

#21509574
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (1220)

On 12/30/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by just outdone - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

#21509223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (1885)

On 12/29/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by NeverLookingAgain (woman) - United States

Today, after living in my new apartment for barely three weeks, I found mice living under my dish washer. When I brought it up to the managers, they said I'd have to pay for an exterminator myself since they weren't there when they cleaned. FML

#21509184
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (1294)

On 12/29/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

#21509147
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (1265)

On 12/29/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by bob the builders pissed off daughter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML

#21508974
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (1705)

On 12/29/2015 at 4:49am - misc - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML

#21508821
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23406) - you deserved it (1401)

On 12/28/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that when my parents said they couldn't afford gifts for us kids, what they really meant was that they weren't buying a gift for me. I found this out when I overheard my father telling my uncle about the things he got my siblings. FML

#21508809
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (1227)

On 12/28/2015 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me in front of his whole family with the ring his mother had helped him pick out. Two hours later, I found emails of nudes from another women that had been sent to him a week prior, on his phone. Our flight for home leaves in a week. FML

#21508755
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19851) - you deserved it (1458)

On 12/28/2015 at 3:15pm - misc - by FMeRight? - United States (California)

Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML

#21508686
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19411) - you deserved it (1476)

On 12/28/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, after weeks of keeping it a secret, I excitedly gave my boyfriend what I thought to be the perfect Christmas present. Turns out lock picking sets are illegal in Ohio. FML

#21508274
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16647) - you deserved it (7361)

On 12/27/2015 at 12:18am - misc - by BahHumbug (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML

#21508270
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19056) - you deserved it (1245)

On 12/27/2015 at 12:08am - misc - by welp - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friend insisted I wear her brand new hoodie for the day. When I gave it back after a few hours, she said she just needed it stretched and couldn't find someone fatter to stretch it for her. FML

#21508210
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22462) - you deserved it (2018)

On 12/26/2015 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)



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