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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

#21441433
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28212) - you deserved it (1744)

On 07/14/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by ow my kidneys (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while walking alone through a sketchy neighbourhood after a party, I learned that I look too broke to even rob and "not worth the bother". Overhead from a guy waiting for me in a bush with a flashlight and his equally charming friend. FML

Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

#21440980
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (1922)

On 07/13/2015 at 11:10am - misc - by carl_carl_ - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML

#21440955
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23000) - you deserved it (3597)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by distracted - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML

#21440904
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (1758)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:45am - misc - by anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, my grandpa accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. I will never be able to unsee that. FML

#21440426
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (1990)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

#21440033
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (2679)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm - misc - by whymomwhy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

#21439964
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (2646)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:51am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

#21439963
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21500) - you deserved it (2886)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:44am - misc - by annoyedgf -

Today, I found a picture of myself on the "People of Walmart" site. FML

#21439858
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (16293)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (7720)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

#21439671
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (2563)

On 07/10/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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