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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after much reflection, I realized my "happy childhood" was more like "the years I was oblivious to how much people despised me." FML

#21510381
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20049) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/01/2016 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while on a flight, I was walking back to my seat after going to the bathroom, when someone stuck their leg out, causing me to trip and fall flat on my face. All the guy could say was, "There's a thing called glasses. Fucking use them!" FML

Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML

#21510172
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19703) - you deserved it (1418)

On 01/01/2016 at 11:23am - misc - by Mewsmash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML

#21510100
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (2081)

On 01/01/2016 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out what it means to be the only single person in my group of friends. They had a New Year's party and didn't invite me because they didn't want me to "feel alone". FML

#21510072
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (1510)

On 01/01/2016 at 3:35am - misc - by feelin a lil left out - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND...!" FML

#21509780
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you deserved it (2244)

On 12/31/2015 at 2:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

#21509769
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24303) - you deserved it (1489)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

#21509753
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21160) - you deserved it (1530)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, as always, I tend to smile and giggle when I'm nervous. I couldn't stop it from happening at the funeral of my friend's grandmother. FML

#21509708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (3366)

On 12/31/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Smiley (woman) - Aruba

Today, I drove my friends two hours to see a tourist attraction I had been talking up for months. It burnt to the ground last week. FML

#21509674
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (2152)

On 12/31/2015 at 6:50am - misc - by DriveNowhere - Australia

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

#21509618
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (1482)

On 12/31/2015 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

#21509574
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18184) - you deserved it (1220)

On 12/30/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by just outdone - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

#21509223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (1885)

On 12/29/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by NeverLookingAgain (woman) - United States



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