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Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

#21415763
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (1660)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by wrestling probs - United States

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

#21415473
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (2107)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, my housemates are throwing a huge house party to celebrate finishing their finals. It's 4:30am and people are still arriving. I have my last final in 3 hours. FML

#21415194
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (2039)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by Party Pooper - United States

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (10561)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24059) - you deserved it (6239)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

#21414914
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (2261)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

#21414880
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (2375)

On 05/24/2015 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (2991)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (2114)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25786) - you deserved it (5524)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML

#21414242
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25605) - you deserved it (2188)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm - misc - by A - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (2358)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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