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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I waited patiently in the airport as my flight was repeatedly delayed. After 5 long hours I approached one of the attendees to discover that the plane had left 5 minutes ago. FML

#21513287
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (3026)

On 01/09/2016 at 6:19pm - misc - by whenlifeisalemon - United States (California)

Today, I was showing my step-dad old photos of the family. We got to a picture of me and I mentioned how much weight I've lost. He muttered, "Heh, fat AND blind". FML

#21513043
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (1832)

On 01/08/2016 at 11:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I found out what unwashed, warty feet taste like after someone kicked me in the mouth with one. FML

#21513027
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18823) - you deserved it (1694)

On 01/08/2016 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I overheard my parents talking about our family pet. Or at least I thought they were, until my mother exclaimed, "Honestly, I don't know why we keep her." Our dog is male. FML

#21513021
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (1571)

On 01/08/2016 at 10:09pm - misc - by familypet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

#21512854
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (3218)

On 01/08/2016 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I tried really hard for once on an assignment. I was told it was my worst work yet and that I may as well have turned nothing in at all. FML

#21512817
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19990) - you deserved it (1945)

On 01/08/2016 at 10:54am - misc - by i tried so hard - United States (California)

Today, I was messing around and tried to catch a piece of cereal in my mouth. I accidentally slammed my head on the counter behind my couch. FML

Today, my dad took my car keys off my keychain and hid them from me. His reasoning was, "I don't want you to be driving during the winter." Guess who has to walk ten miles a day to work, through the New England snow. FML

#21512737
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (1512)

On 01/08/2016 at 1:06am - misc - by tiredofbullshit - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was chilling in my comfy zip-up sweatshirt when I realized I was running late for an acting class. In my mad panic, I forgot I didn't have a shirt or bra underneath. Later in class, I was performing a scene and started to unzip my sweatshirt. You can figure out the rest. FML

#21512660
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (5023)

On 01/07/2016 at 9:08pm - misc - by AccidentalFlasher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's day three of our power being off because of a glitch in the power company's computer system. They won't turn it back on until we pay the $2000 we owe from 2010. We moved here in 2012. FML

#21512601
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20712) - you deserved it (1179)

On 01/07/2016 at 6:04pm - misc - by its dark - United States (California)

Today, my 70-year-old coworker managed to do something to our shared computer for it to not boot up. This is our 4th computer since we've been working together, and he refuses to believe that he's the problem. FML

#21512490
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19453) - you deserved it (1336)

On 01/07/2016 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after waiting in front of a washroom stall for 20 minutes to take a dump, I finally realized that the "person" in the stall was just a pair of shoes. FML

#21512486
59 comments

Today, I hate my distant visiting family so much that after work I take a detour and sit in my car on an adjacent street, contemplating reasons not to go home. FML



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