Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

by HeadStillHurts / 10/26/2016 at 7:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents are forcing me to go to an insanely conservative, Christian private school. I'm gay. This is going to be a long year. FML

Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2016 at 1:06am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a citation from my landlord because my puppy couldn't make it to the grass and peed in the shrubs. Later in the evening, I got a citation that my music was too loud. Until I'd submitted my 30-day notice yesterday, no one ever had a problem with me FML

by anonymous / 10/25/2016 at 12:29am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML

by JustWashedTheseJeans / 10/24/2016 at 9:05pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to kick my husband's friend out of our house after a week. He left lights on, played video games all day, ate all of our food and laughed when his son hit my dog. He was only invited over for one dinner. FML

by NotYourFriend / 10/24/2016 at 3:53pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my landlord has bought himself a new boat. He refuses to turn up the heating to save money. I'm freezing. FML

by Too Many Layers / 10/24/2016 at 2:43pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Miscellaneous

Today, while changing my tampon in a public restroom, a toddler crawled under the door of my stall and asked what I was doing. I had to wait until I'd finished to open the door and let her out. FML

by 2young4birds&bees / 10/24/2016 at 11:53am / Miscellaneous

Today, we have a fruit fly infestation again because my roommate keeps buying fruit and letting it rot on the counter. Despite the moldy fruit being covered in flies, she insists it's my fault because I left an empty bottle of beer out. FML

by lily_marleen / 10/24/2016 at 8:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on my 18th birthday, I was mugged by 6 guys who beat the shit out of me and stole my phone and wallet. They could've just asked. FML

Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML

by pantless / 10/23/2016 at 5:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

by macguy / 10/20/2016 at 10:25am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right inside my mouth. My tongue got stung. FML

by Modeon123 / 10/20/2016 at 6:11am / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Miscellaneous