Miscellaneous: Nuts

Nuts

By dieders - 21/11/2016 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 826

You deserved it 1 140

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Same thing different taste

By Sprinkles - 04/02/2015 07:44 - Australia

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 888

You deserved it 2 724

By Deconstructed - 19/05/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 091

You deserved it 27 978

By Alexismaria - 23/10/2014 20:05 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 772

You deserved it 3 277

By Well okay then - 09/10/2016 17:12 - United States - Palmdale

Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 327

You deserved it 760

Avoidance issues

By ProAwkward - 18/06/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 5 855

By iheartnjdevils - 12/01/2011 19:42 - United States

Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 593

You deserved it 7 919

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 3 807

By PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 273

You deserved it 47 061

Bad boy!

By Carrie - 23/02/2021 21:30

Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 141

By cheddar - 20/07/2011 22:17 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 439

You deserved it 2 636

magicdust95 31

Monday 21 November 2016 18:01

There's nothing like beginning the day with the sight of the sun high up in the sky and hanging ballsacks. Have a great day OP !

Taco The Dank 27

Monday 21 November 2016 18:10

Haha yes! I moderated this like two hours ago and it already has been accepted. It's a real FYL though, no one wants to see a ballsack hanging out...

Comments

One_In_Three 24

Monday 21 November 2016 17:39

I was actually expecting him to be staring at you and/or jacking off...

DannyDizzle 8

Tuesday 22 November 2016 13:53

Jacking off on a ladder is riskay business

One_In_Three 24

Tuesday 22 November 2016 16:43

Good point.

Jay18 22

Wednesday 23 November 2016 5:34

people who jack off on ladders are usually high in class

stingray112 24

Monday 21 November 2016 17:42

Gotta let the air flow sometimes

magicdust95 31

Monday 21 November 2016 18:01

There's nothing like beginning the day with the sight of the sun high up in the sky and hanging ballsacks. Have a great day OP !

dieders 24

Monday 21 November 2016 20:19

Hahaha cheers old boy

species4872 19

Monday 21 November 2016 18:05

How long did you look?

Taco The Dank 27

Monday 21 November 2016 18:10

Haha yes! I moderated this like two hours ago and it already has been accepted. It's a real FYL though, no one wants to see a ballsack hanging out...

OhPuhleeze 23

Tuesday 22 November 2016 12:27

Wow! Just how much time do you spend here mate?

MamaChey 24

Tuesday 22 November 2016 17:29

Cheddardoge - interesting how quickly your turned this FML post around and made it about you. That was talented.

Taco The Dank 27

Tuesday 22 November 2016 18:02

Obviously it was acceptable if people liked the comment so...

dieders 24

Wednesday 23 November 2016 9:34

Yeah quit steeling my glory

Wizardo 33

Monday 21 November 2016 19:38

All kinds of topiary, mainly genital themed today though.

Mynamewontfi 40

Monday 21 November 2016 19:43

The birds are chirping. The morning sun is glowing. The ballsack is dangling.

Yarecho 14

Monday 21 November 2016 19:44

The gardener is tending to something else too huh?

VikingLynne 18

Monday 21 November 2016 19:49

early seasonal greetings with Christmas balls in the window

Llyev 10

Monday 21 November 2016 19:59

I would've straight up told him his balls were sagging out.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to buy a bra. A woman sized me and then gave me a bra to try on in the fitting room. To my pleasure, it seemed to fit well. The woman who had sized me came in to check on me and replied, "Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can be symmetrical." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 000

You deserved it 2 751

Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 159

The Top

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 624

You deserved it 15 765

Today, my husband decided to surprise me with some "sexy" manscaping. When he took his clothes off, I immediately got drier than the Sahara desert. He was going for "porn star" but instead looked like a prepubescent kid, which immediately turned me off. He then got mad at me for “ruining the mood.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 401

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 968

You deserved it 6 324

Today, I had a test in orchestra class, which I'd practiced over 30 hours for. After I played my part, which I thought I did very well, my teacher asked how long I'd practiced. Trying to show off, I said, "Oh, just 30 minutes." My teacher said, "It shows; that was terrible." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 940

You deserved it 59 147

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 970

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 620

You deserved it 12 942

Nuts

Same thing different taste

Avoidance issues

Bad boy!

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