Health and Painful: Not a morning person at the best of times

Not a morning person at the best of times

By shouldhavestayedinbed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 2 162

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 595

You deserved it 3 766

I hate myself

By trixanne - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 713

You deserved it 3 903

I was right all along

By 3peeps - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 807

You deserved it 4 049

I'm OK!

By MAC. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 439

You deserved it 6 023

Bored

By letmeinplease - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 717

You deserved it 3 002

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 281

You deserved it 2 715

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 376

You deserved it 15 346

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 908

You deserved it 2 499

Red flag

By Kirby - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 191

You deserved it 4 501

By Myriam - 18/06/2012 16:05 - Maldives - Male

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 851

You deserved it 3 407

Haggis300 25

Friday 1 July 2016 17:47

Was there at least something good in the parcel?

Mowmee 14

Friday 1 July 2016 18:05

That sucks. Hopefully it wasn't that bad and it'll heal soon!

Comments

watermelon15 35

Friday 1 July 2016 17:30

Should've just went to get it in a night robe. Or just your pajamas. Y u no wear pajamas? But still, FYL

TheBigSneeze 22

Friday 1 July 2016 21:24

some people sleep in underwear or naked

fakedsincerity 32

Saturday 2 July 2016 0:32

because pajamas are too hot especially is the summer and letting your skin breathe at night without clothes is nice!

pats2004 17

Friday 1 July 2016 17:35

Sorry about that OP hopefully your legs heal fast

Haggis300 25

Friday 1 July 2016 17:47

Was there at least something good in the parcel?

vas25 13

Friday 1 July 2016 18:02

At least it wasn't a Knicky nine door

_EnderDoge 22

Friday 1 July 2016 18:05

I'm sure you can take your time, people wait. Just yell that you'll be there in a minute.

BananEnigma 24

Friday 1 July 2016 19:39

No, people probably *WON'T* wait. I'm from Canada, and here, most postal workers always seem to be in a ridiculous hurry. Most of the time they won't even bother knocking, they'll just leave a "missed delivery notice" slip and move on. I've seen them do this several times, and I've even opened the door when one was trying to leave the slip, and they got all pissed off and stomped back to re-scan the parcel for delivery. Even when they DO knock, they wait a maximum of ten seconds before taking off and/or leaving the slip for you to find. It's obnoxious and frustrating to say the least. Though I don't know about the U.K., it might be similar.

_EnderDoge 22

Friday 1 July 2016 19:43

#10: People wait a minute or so where I live. I'd assume it's earlier in the morning if OP is still in bed, so people should wait. I hope I didn't accidentally offend you.. If I did, I'm sorry.

skippydoda 32

Saturday 2 July 2016 0:50

#10, if a postal person wouldn't wait then OP doesn't have to rush anyway. If it's a normal person then they could take a minute. Either way, not worth hurting yourself.