Shy colon

By scared2poop - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brighton

Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 836
You deserved it 3 996
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Top comments

CheekyRaccoon 27

It has been said that the noises that OP makes while dropping brown bombs are loud enough to scare off a large pack of lions. I've never seen it happen before, but I heard that OP once saved someone about to be mauled by lions. Truly remarkable stuff.

202 1
MisterEx 28

But OP, what about the terror innocent McDonalders will be hearing? Or the walls? Walls have ears too you know! Keep that in mind, and happy pooping.

153 1

Comments

arabian22 29

I'd really like to know how much gas you spend on using the bathroom

47 0
mrlucky22 18

Or how about the amount of gas he dispenses in the bathroom?

22 0
Recon13x 9

I can't belive the closest public bathroom is 15 whole minutes away, at a McDonald's of all places.

4 0
MisterEx 28

But OP, what about the terror innocent McDonalders will be hearing? Or the walls? Walls have ears too you know! Keep that in mind, and happy pooping.

153 1
crudeandrudeguy 29

Never let any relationship interfere with a good poop...

11 1
CheekyRaccoon 27

It has been said that the noises that OP makes while dropping brown bombs are loud enough to scare off a large pack of lions. I've never seen it happen before, but I heard that OP once saved someone about to be mauled by lions. Truly remarkable stuff.

202 1
Levvy 22

That sounds about right for someone who describes their poop-sounds as their "extreme noise terror". That sounds like a metal band name.

13 0
Colon_Man 17

Is that strange? I heard the same phrase being used by that flock of giraffes over there.

1 0
CheekyRaccoon 27

Don't be afraid #32, I mean you no harm. Yes it's a pride of lions, I didn't use the correct term for a group of lions. However it does sound kind of odd, like a parliament of owls.

2 0
crayon_chomper 20

Even if her roommates did hear you its not exactly something they could tell her. "omg did you hear that, he's pooping again, girl you need to call it off." Yeah no, chill.

15 9
kaylocca 20

What happens when you can't make it that 15 minutes? You can get constipation holding it in.

8 2
st00nr 12

Go to their rooms and poop there to show dominance.

3 21
alexish128 13

Let's hope for your sake you never have bad diarrhea while at her place.

14 0
PharmacyJoe 13

I'm sure the employees at that McD's are just thrilled about your concern for your girlfriend's roomies.

16 0
russfml 31

You're going to have to mark your territory there one day. Just get it over with and save some gas money

6 0
ssnow_fml 20

Girlfriend's roommates need to be taught a lesson by you destroying the bathroom and asserting your dominance.

3 9