Health, Poopoo peepee and Accident: Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately,...

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 251

You deserved it 4 962

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Same thing different taste

Thanks, Mr Whiskers

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 06:13 - Canada

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 5 975

By SeatofIgnorance - 29/08/2017 04:30

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 4 973

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 006

You deserved it 7 030

Humpty Dumpy

By traumatized - 12/04/2014 18:07 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 436

You deserved it 9 394

Bustin' my ass

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 182

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 083

You deserved it 445

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 317

You deserved it 14 182

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 163

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 377

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 011

You deserved it 2 788

lambda_fml 40

Monday 1 December 2014 9:57

Holy shit!

cakefete2 30

Monday 1 December 2014 13:40

That's extra funny given your profile pic. Btw, do you Noah guy who can fix OP's toilet seat?

Comments

lambda_fml 40

Monday 1 December 2014 9:57

Holy shit!

cakefete2 30

Monday 1 December 2014 13:40

That's extra funny given your profile pic. Btw, do you Noah guy who can fix OP's toilet seat?

garrett_8614 14

Monday 1 December 2014 15:01

That shit cray

reno_911 5

Monday 1 December 2014 23:19

this is exactly why i no longer trust toilet seats. shifty eye scheming bastards

jerryj 27

Monday 1 December 2014 9:58

Hope your balls are OK!

nickob96 25

Monday 1 December 2014 11:25

Maybe op is a girl? Girls poop too you know...

SystemofaBlink41 27

Monday 1 December 2014 11:38

Nonsense!

badluckalex 23

Monday 1 December 2014 11:38

I dont see how this would have any effect on ops balls, if op is a guy

brittyboo123 35

Monday 1 December 2014 18:58

26, I'm a girl and I completely understand how it would hurt...think about it.

JMichael 25

Monday 1 December 2014 9:58

Well you had to go one way or another.

Sports_guy3 28

Monday 1 December 2014 23:58

Speaking of had to go, I heard about this video of a girl ******** herself while twerking. PM me if u want the link

killerdana 19

Tuesday 2 December 2014 5:33

Wow 58. I think we're good

keiNan_fml 35

Monday 1 December 2014 9:58

holy crap!!

cherry_popper69 11

Tuesday 2 December 2014 6:25

I hope he wiped well

Zeishah 26

Monday 1 December 2014 9:58

Pick yourself up! Its a shitty day not a shitty life.

toshimahalaketa 6

Monday 1 December 2014 9:59

talk about a shitty situation

drayloon 50

Monday 1 December 2014 10:20

please stop.

people_annoy_me 23

Monday 1 December 2014 10:44

#17 Hey, don't be rude. I thought it was really punny.

ileenefudge 29

Monday 1 December 2014 12:01

Sorry but it's over used too much by people. It's really not that funny anymore.

MrConcise 34

Monday 1 December 2014 12:04

Don't like it? Bury and move on, no need to out yourself as a douchebag.

WoldowJR 25

Monday 1 December 2014 17:17

Every comment in this thread sucks.

jbombdighetty 11

Monday 1 December 2014 20:56

I still laugh every time.

ErinRosado 14

Tuesday 2 December 2014 20:18

I guess poop-related FMLs wouldn't quite be the same without this pun. Maybe we've got to ask ourselves if we really need to flush it out of the system.

zBLAKEz 23

Monday 1 December 2014 10:00

This makes me think of how annoying it is when you place down one of those paper toilet seat covers on a public toilet, and because it's an automatic toilet it just automatically flushes, taking the seat cover with it.

Mauskau 35

Monday 1 December 2014 10:01

What a waste of paper, just squat.

onlychildFTW 33

Monday 1 December 2014 10:19

Or wear diapers! Get some cloth ones and be eco friendly! Or, make sure the seat is properly fastened before sitting to poop.

ShadowPsychosis 4

Monday 1 December 2014 13:41

#9 But it's the squatters who cause the problem in the first place. Never in my life have i ever peed or crapped on a toilet seat by sitting on it like a normal person would. It's the inconsiderate people who hover over the public toilet who end up splashing urine and feces on the seat, the cistern, the floor etc. It is also actually bad for you, the position you hold your body in to squat pee over a "western" toilet prevents full emptying of the bladder, you can actually retain around 30% of the bladder contents, which at the least is inconvenient because you'll need to go again that much sooner, maybe even cause a UTI.