By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
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Top comments

Welshite 39

That's when you push him off the toilet and scream"Gandalf!" Trust me, he won't be mad or anything.

147 4

Comments

Welshite 39

That's when you push him off the toilet and scream"Gandalf!" Trust me, he won't be mad or anything.

147 4
deathtothepix 26

Or kick him off screaming "THIS IS SPARTA."

56 6
Welshite 39

"Use the force, Luke." Edit: Oh, sorry. I thought we were just quoting random movies.

57 3
ElementaryEdGuy 18

19: That sounds fun! "Boo, you *****."

46 2
Zimmington 21

"I will NEVER forgive you"

9 1
shyeahh_fml 19

"BREAD MAKES YOU FAT?!"

24 1
8born8 18

Tell him someone is trying to steal his car or trying to tow it away.

2 25
8born8 18

"The pellet with the poison is in the flagon with the dragon, the chalice with the palace has the brew that is true."

2 16
Siererrr 13

No, he doesn't need to shave! It is No-shave November! At least his dad has the right idea.

20 1
wolfgold2 20

"**** yourself asshole!" "I would if I could!"

6 11
JoeGrant 12

"You're a dirty pirate hooker! Why don't you go back to your home on ***** island!" - The legend himself, Ron Burgundy

12 1
8born8 18

So, I'm guessing no one has seen the movie "The Court Jester" starring Danny Kaye? A comedy that doesn't rely on inuendo, sex, ethnicity or toilet humor to get cheap laughs.

1 20
Ambient25 24

Why? Why not just watch Monty Python...

9 0
8born8 18

*thrusts pelvis* "Schwing!" If you don't know that movie, you're definately missing out.

1 5
DixieNormous007 4

Its No-Shave-November for deer season son, grow it out

3 0
CallMeWindSock 24

Maybe he's really into No-Shave November

20 2
Batterypost 23

It's actually called "Movember", and you're only supposed to keep the moustache. The goal is to raise prostate cancer awareness.

7 28
Zimmington 21

24- Actually you're talking about 2 completely different things. I have never even heard of "Movember"

3 17
mdcdeve 10

And some men can have a temporary moustache with the aid of a nearby women.

1 3
ItsATwinThing 9

#33 How can you not know about Movember it's everywhere!

1 5
Zimmington 21

Apparently it isn't "Everywhere" because that comment was my first time ever hearing that term

7 0
gracehi 31

At least you didn't fall into a cavernous abyss immediately afterwards.

80 0
Pleonasm 35

But he did release one hell of a Balrog...

16 1
ElricMustang 23

Grab it and leave. I'm sure your drawer with your shaving equipment should be closer to you than the toilet. It's like a video game!

31 4
JACKxRAWR 22

But OP isn't allowed to shave, it's Movember dude! Gotta try and rock some facial hair.

16 0
ElricMustang 23

How could I forget? I'm actually doing it myself. In that case... DEAL WITH IT, OP

11 0
chocolatefrog28 29

How do you know he was definitely screaming at you? Maybe he was constipated.

76 1
Paradoxxxx 16

LOL this is one of the best comments I've ever read. Thank you for making my day :)

8 1
xarina 11

This made me laugh as much as the fml :) thank you!

2 1
saucyrossi 18

Well if you had to use the bathroom it would be YOU SHALL NOT PISS

60 0
skilova4lifezzz 19

Just crawl in screaming "MY PRECIOUS" and jump at him, it'll scare the shit out of him and the bathroom can be all yours.

41 1
cakefete2 30

Actually, there is likely no shit left to scare out, him being on the toilet and all.

13 2
Lisee92 18

This is when you start taping, it sounds hysterical.

16 3
dawood_k 27

Maybe he was telling his shit shall not pass his anus... It's not all about you

21 3
emilycb93 12

Your father probably just wants you to participate in no-shave November

44 0
blackman100 20

Unless OP is female.

1 5
emilycb93 12

Girls can participate in no-shave November as well. Not as common, nor as attractive, but it still happens.

7 3
tsukikuiin 16

considering the male sign in the top corner of this FML. OP is a male anyhow.

6 0