Hello, is me you're looking for?

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 07:24 - United Kingdom - Woodford Green

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 135
You deserved it 3 155
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Welshite 39

I really really want to know your gender now.

309 6
Cbizzlez 10

I believe a no soliciting sign is in order

153 0

Comments

Welshite 39

I really really want to know your gender now.

309 6
DocBastard 38

I'm not sure either is funnier though. If OP is a woman, she should just scream "STEPHANIE DIED OF NEUROSYPHILIS!" before slamming the door. If OP is a man...same thing.

135 2
Shy_Anne 10

If OP is a girl she can take Stephanie's place

12 45
ManInTheMachine 19

33-Anonymous is a very masculine name, don't you think?

64 0
TheCaramelKing 11

OP should dress up like Stephanie and then when the next person comes, invite them in. If OP is a guy he should remove his pants last surprising the customer with his, erm, package. If OP is a woman, then she should get a restraining order.

30 2
Epikouros 31

Maybe they don't care about OP's gender if they're really horny. In fact, we don't know whether Stephanie was a woman or a crossdresser.

32 1
MikeonFML 17

And possibly get some tests done....

0 1
MzZombicidal 36

I think if OP is a man, he should say something along the lines of "Stephanie's gone forever, it's Stephen now"

17 0
MikeonFML 17

No, well not at Op's location.

42 1
Jjimen1654 9

Yea you just have to go to the warehouse a couple of blocks away now............ Uhh i mean i dont know. :O

39 2
Cbizzlez 10

I believe a no soliciting sign is in order

153 0
K410 18

Really hope OP doesn't use a UV light in her bedroom ._.

51 1
\ 28

I'm pretty sure most hookers won't let you finish on them...

3 11
MrSarcasmic 10

#54 they're hookers. they aren't really in the good decision making business

29 3
sweet23_fml 11

any one who works is a prostitute as we all have to something at one point or another that we don't want to do for money.

3 27
Mossears133 15

But then OP will miss out on Girl Scout cookies!

12 1
harrypotter955 19

For some reason I see you becoming the new "Stephanie"

129 8
morganrules123 10

It will be like the Santa Clause, but with hookers.

32 11
Sweet_Meli 11

If you need some extra cash just be Stephanie for few nights ;)

34 2
ManInTheMachine 19

11-You mean there will be a lot of Ho-Ho-Hoes?

36 0
ohro 10

Clients are already lining up to her door

15 2
assassinbanana0 20

Then he can become Stephen

56 1
tidwellj 10

Take their money and call the police, op. they'll stop coming by.

56 6
Welshite 39

Taking their money would be prostitution, so you are suggesting that OP call the police to report him/herself.

40 2
helen_ellexo 22

#6, if OP just took the money without offering service I feel as though her "clients" would definitely have something to come back for.. Could be a dangerous situation for OP

44 0
kasmol 16

No it wouldn't be prostitution, as that requires an exchange of sex for money. It could, however constitute fraud or theft, depending on the local ordinances.

22 1
Lil_Red777 21

If you give someone a hug for money that's basically prostitution, you're selling yourself. Here she would be selling her lies XD

1 13
mystashisgone 6

So somehow strippers don't go to jail? They sell their body, boobs, or sometimes more than that if you pay enough...by you logic shouldn't they al go to jail?

1 14
Lil_Red777 21

It's a joke. And strippers usually have the look don't touch policy. Some clubs don't even let them take their bottoms off. Unless they're the really trashy clubs there's very little contact with the customers.

11 0
threer 30

Strippers can be male, too. Dickwads..

0 3
eternal_malaise 10

Definitely has a well-established customer base. Could get into a related business like a massage parlor or selling adult toys.

22 1
imagineapc 11

A massage business should not be related to this in any way. Any professional massage therapist will not give a happy ending.

6 1
RodzillaX 30

Sounds like Stephanie was living quite comfortably.

37 3
graceinsheepwear 33

Living the high life entertaining drop in clients. Uh, no.

10 2
MidnaLink 33

I thought hookers came to the clients' house...

10 27
skyttlz 32

It can go either way. Hooker to clients house or client to hookers house.

1 0
FitForFun 11

Hey if you are ever low on cash you could just sit in your apartment and wait... Or you could take this business opportunity and run with it, make cards and hand them out to expand the clientele.

18 1