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Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML
Here let me do it for you....
Today (some time in the last 24hrs), a man (homo sapien sapien, male) struggling (having physical difficulty) up some slippery (unable to fully grasp or purchase because of some lubricant, usually ice) steps (stairs leading to a home or abode) with a pram (baby stroller, google search About 7,720,000 results (0.13 seconds) ) dropped his sunglasses (darkened lenses placed over the eyes to minimize brightness. Sometimes used to look cool) off his head (something infrequently used by FML readers) in his struggle. I hurried (moved quickly towards) to pick them up for him as he had no free (he paid for them, so they're not free, but most likely his hands were occupied doing something else) hands, and instead stood on them and snapped them in half (he broke them).
Just because you are not familiar with every single variant of the english language doesn't mean OP has to spell everything out for you. In Austrailia, I showed up for Shrimp on the Barbie with a small guy humping a barbie doll and was promptly tossed out.
You just ruined this mans life. How is he supposed to stare at tits now? Shame on you, you owe this man a lot more then one pair of sunglasses.
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.
Friday 5 February 2016