Loosey-goosey

By knickersdontfit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 363
You deserved it 8 259

Top comments

chazzlerazzle 0

Wow, this FML totally brings back memories. Well okay, it may seem disjointed and unrelated at first, but it clicks together at the end. So there I was, back in 'Nam, on a routine patrol about five kliks out from Hanoi. There's me riding shotgun, looking real constipated, sparkling in the sunlight and staring out across the war-torn fields like a god damn wannabe vampire straight out of a really crappy book saga. Little Jimmy was in the back, having his way with a pre-pubescent gopher. Yeah, Jimmy always was a little cracked in the head, but God bless him, he saved my life when I accidentally walked into that Klan meeting wearing nothing but a **** me dress and a makeshift thong made from an elastic band. But I digress. We were rolling on back to base when it happened. An IED blew our nuts off, and it all went downhill from there. Say what you like about the Viet Cong, but they sure knew how to lay a good ambush. Thankfully, the sheer amount of light reflecting off my bare sparkling chest blinded them and we took a good few of 'em out before their air support rained chloroform-soaked panties down on our feminine forms. Well, what are you gonna do against that? Little Jimmy didn't stand a chance. Screamed "WIIIIIII!" like a man possessed and inhaled enough chloroform to kill an ox. Yeah, we were never quite the same after that. Quit the army and took to posting "WI" on first posts across the internet in honour of Lil' Jim, God rest his soul. Wee-woo.

FMLephant 2

Comments

chazzlerazzle 0

Wow, this FML totally brings back memories. Well okay, it may seem disjointed and unrelated at first, but it clicks together at the end. So there I was, back in 'Nam, on a routine patrol about five kliks out from Hanoi. There's me riding shotgun, looking real constipated, sparkling in the sunlight and staring out across the war-torn fields like a god damn wannabe vampire straight out of a really crappy book saga. Little Jimmy was in the back, having his way with a pre-pubescent gopher. Yeah, Jimmy always was a little cracked in the head, but God bless him, he saved my life when I accidentally walked into that Klan meeting wearing nothing but a **** me dress and a makeshift thong made from an elastic band. But I digress. We were rolling on back to base when it happened. An IED blew our nuts off, and it all went downhill from there. Say what you like about the Viet Cong, but they sure knew how to lay a good ambush. Thankfully, the sheer amount of light reflecting off my bare sparkling chest blinded them and we took a good few of 'em out before their air support rained chloroform-soaked panties down on our feminine forms. Well, what are you gonna do against that? Little Jimmy didn't stand a chance. Screamed "WIIIIIII!" like a man possessed and inhaled enough chloroform to kill an ox. Yeah, we were never quite the same after that. Quit the army and took to posting "WI" on first posts across the internet in honour of Lil' Jim, God rest his soul. Wee-woo.

tl;dr, but I think I get what you're telling us. We need to build a space helicopter...

FMLephant 2

This has to be the longest no.1 comment I've seen ever on FML. Props to chazzlerazzle. It's no easy feat to pull this off before some random attention ***** comes in to post meaningless one liners just to get no.1

next time eat more grapes it will help to ward off the aids you inevitably got from touching Jimmy after his steamy gopher sex.

And this has been Wee-Woo: Tales of the First Wasters. When does the book come out? Can't wait to read it.

C6Racer 0

37, you haven't been a member here for very long, have you?

I'm pretty sure #1 made the comment in some notepad first and then copied & pasted here in this discussion..... jerk!

he probably just had that copied in notepad and pasted it here for whenever he had the chance to get #1 ccuz this has nothing to do with the fml

I havent seen any comments from Sirin in a while, that makes picking up on the situation harder on the newbies. :|

O_o ...now they will know...forever...

ktdad07 0

So all of the newer members should just know that the mods here abuse their power and edit posts like children?

how the hell did you get first with a comment that long?

After reading through all the comments above me... /facepalm @ the guy above me...

Maybe not all of us are on the comments 24-7 to witness the "wi" transform into some BS 2-paragraph comment. Still, when mods edit comments, I usually see the "this comment has been moderated" instead of this transformation.

Don't underestimate the power of the bare-chested shimmering fairies with weird-looking nipples! That attack alone probably gouged the eyes off of the VC.

Where do you come up with this stuff Sirin?

I take pride in the all time low IQ. Ruff, I just snort chemicals from random household utilities. I find industrial-grade rust remover works the best.

uncbballwins 0

Dear KaySL, Please stop being a ******* chickenhead. -UNC

The Isle of Man ( /?mæn/; Manx: Ellan Vannin,[2] pronounced [??l??n ?van?n]), otherwise known simply as Mann (Manx: Mannin, IPA: [?man?n]), is a self-governing British Crown Dependency, located in the Irish Sea between the islands of Great Britain and Ireland, within the British Isles. The head of state is Queen Elizabeth II, who holds the title of Lord of Mann. The Lord of Mann is represented by a Lieutenant Governor. The island is not part of the United Kingdom, but its foreign relations and defence are the responsibility of the UK Government. Although it does not usually interfere in the island's domestic matters, its "good government" is ultimately the responsibility of the Crown (i.e., in practice, the Government of the United Kingdom).[3] The island has been inhabited since before 6500 BC. It began to be influenced by Gaelic culture in the 5th century AD, and the Manx language, a branch of the Gaelic languages, gradually emerged. In the 9th century, the Norse began to settle there. A Norse-Gaelic culture arose and the island came under Norse control. In 1266, the island became part of Scotland. After a period of alternating rule by the kings of Scotland and England, the island came under the feudal overlordship of the English Crown in 1399. The lordship revested into the British Crown in 1764 but the island never became part of the United Kingdom and retained its status as an internally self-governing jurisdiction. Etymology The origin of the name Isle of Man is unclear. In the Manx Gaelic language the Isle of Man is known as Ellan Vannin, where ellan is a Gaelic word meaning island. The earliest form of 'Man' is Manu or Mana[4] giving the genitive name Manann leading to the word Mannin, which is lenited when used after the feminine word Ellan, giving Mhannin. As mh is pronounced like a v in Goidelic languages, in modern Manx the name becomes Ellan Vannin. These forms are related to the figure of Celtic mythology known as Manannán to the Irish and Manawydan to the Welsh.[5] The name enters recorded history as Mona (Julius Caesar, 54 BC), and is also recorded as Monapia or Monabia (Pliny the Elder, AD 77), Monœda (Ptolemy, AD 150), Mevania or Mænavia (Paulus Orosius, 416), and Eubonia or Eumonia by Irish writers. In Welsh records it is Manaw, and in the Icelandic sagas it is Mön.[6][7][8][9] Though Mann was never incorporated into the Roman Empire, the island was noted in Greek and Roman accounts where it was called variously Monapia, M??????? (Monaoida), M??????? (Monarina), Menavi and Mevania.[10] The Old Welsh and Old Irish names for Mann, Manau and Mano, also occur in Manau Gododdin, the name for an ancient district in north Britain along the lower Firth of Forth.[11] The name is probably connected with the Welsh name of the island of Anglesey, Ynys Môn[11] and possibly with the Celtic root reflected in Welsh mynydd, Breton menez, Scottish Gaelic monadh, "mountain".[11], which probably derive from the Proto-Indo-European root *men-, "to tower". In this case, such a name may have referred to the island apparently rising out of the Irish Sea on the horizon.[12][13] History Main article: History of the Isle of Man The Braaid, in the central Isle of Man, with remnants of a Celtic-Norse roundhouse and two longhouses, c. 650–950 AD Rising water levels cut off the island from the surrounding islands around 8000 BC. Evidence suggests that colonisation of the Isle took place by sea sometime before 6500 BC.[14] The first residents lived in small natural shelters, hunting, fishing and gathering for their food. They used small tools made of flint or bone, which have been found near the coast. Representatives of these artefacts are kept at the Manx Museum.[15] The Neolithic Period marked the coming of knowledge of farming, better stone tools and pottery. It was during this period that megalithic monuments began to appear around the island. Examples from this period can be found at Cashtal yn Ard near Maughold, King Orry's Grave in Laxey, Meayll Circle near Cregneash, and Ballaharra Stones in St John's. This was not the only Neolithic culture; there were also the local Ronaldsway and Bann cultures.[16] During the Bronze Age, the large communal tombs of the megalith builders were replaced with smaller burial mounds. Bodies were put in stone-lined graves along with ornamental containers. The Bronze Age burial mounds created long-lasting markers about the countryside.[17] According to John T. Koch and others, the Isle of Man in the Late Bronze Age was part of a maritime trading-networked culture called the Atlantic Bronze Age that also included the other Celtic nations, England, France, Spain and Portugal, and ancient Tartessus, and may have been where Celtic languages developed.[18][19][20][21][22][23][24] The Iron Age marked the beginning of Celtic cultural influence. Large hill forts appeared on hill summits, and smaller promontory forts along the coastal cliffs, while large timber-framed roundhouses were built. It is likely that the first Celtic tribes to inhabit the island were of the Brythonic variety. Around the 5th century AD, cultural influence from Ireland, probably along with some degree of migration, precipitated a process of Gaelicisation, evidenced by Ogham inscriptions, giving rise to the Manx language, which remains closely related to Irish and Scottish Gaelic.[25]

Same thing happened to my uncle. Unfortunately their Jimmy didn't make it out with all of his face

Wow simply wow btw great show for ppl around you

blkandredenvy 0

#8: AGREED. I am sorry but fat chicks are disgusting. y would u want to smell the nasty smell between each roll. I have nothing against big girls. because they can be nice. but y would someone let themselves get to that point. I have a pudgy belly. and I am disgusted with myself

13Lina97 0

How are big girls disgusting and stink between their rolls? Obviously someone is jealous. I am not a big girl, I'm quite slim(: but I have relatives that are big. And what that bitch up there ^^^ said, got me angry. You won't like it when I'm angry. So, don't say shit about ANYONE no matter how they look! Haterrrss/: If you really think their gross, then your just as bad.

BUSTER57 0

Wow, I'd be sooo embarassed! I feel bad for you.

That's the BEST!! Good for you! Did you pick them up then slingshot them!? Congratulations on the weight loss. Woo-hoo!

Thats what I was thinking. Congratulations on the weight loss!

how is it possible not to notice that you lost weight if you lost so much your panties fall off..? do you ware super loose panties or something?

Well, because the change was most likely very gradual, it wouldn't be all that noticeable unless you were looking for that specific change.

Mokiikom_fml 8

Because the FML is completely fake, that's how.,