Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10912) - you deserved it (1247)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (1404)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16892) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML

#21414242
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18365) - you deserved it (1645)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:25pm - misc - by A - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally found a bug I had been trying to get rid of. When I removed my bra, I noticed what looked like a piece of bug on it. Apparently, the bug was flattened and suffocated by my boob the entire day. FML

#21414219
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17613) - you deserved it (1748)

On 05/22/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by Kurda (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19031) - you deserved it (2618)

On 05/22/2015 at 4:11pm - misc - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (1551)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

#21413979
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19011) - you deserved it (2259)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by xolaurennnn - United States

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

#21413767
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20877) - you deserved it (1615)

On 05/21/2015 at 10:22pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (8598)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (17334)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)



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