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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5711) - you deserved it (423)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7167) - you deserved it (898)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9167) - you deserved it (577)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16709) - you deserved it (920)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13672) - you deserved it (6615)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

#21448997
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14048) - you deserved it (1377)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML

#21448605
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15845) - you deserved it (6545)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21968) - you deserved it (2655)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (2907)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (3451)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (2068)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (1713)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (1738)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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