Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15569) - you deserved it (1508)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

#21116951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20783) - you deserved it (2044)

On 04/19/2014 at 3:44am - misc - by crappy - United States

Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML

#21116653
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (1871)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by you'vegotmail(not) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you deserved it (24377)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (8385)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28109) - you deserved it (7930)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34303) - you deserved it (3107)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34686) - you deserved it (10341)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33676) - you deserved it (5632)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33539) - you deserved it (4149)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32816) - you deserved it (2847)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (4589)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta



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