zyperman43

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zyperman43

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 877
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About zyperman43 : I...AM...AWESOME!!!!

zyperman43's page activity

Visits<b>dogwonder555</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 4:25pm<b>Shartie</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:47am<b>heyheyitshailey</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:41pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:25am<b>Sqaud00</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:57pm<b>taccoburrito596</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:44pm<b>tanishpradhan</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:46pm<b>enderman99125</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 1:53pm<b>skye147</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:12pm<b>LaurenLo</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:40pm<b>stefvonb</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:30am<b>AyyFlag230</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:04pm<b>GnaR_KiLL5150</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:54pm<b>dyazdani0720</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 4:04pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 4:28pm<b>_GreenArrow_</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:42pm

zyperman43's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of zyperman43's badges

zyperman43's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

by Pudgymom / 10/20/2016 at 10:08pm / Health

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

by 43_clothespins_later / 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML

by pencilring / 09/04/2010 at 10:08am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids