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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2775
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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zsorini2014's page activity

Visits<b>a_cool_guy</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:14am<b>Serajwl</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:59pm<b>nicksatank</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 3:15pm<b>Becca03</b> - the 02/03/2010 at 4:15pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/11/2009 at 3:09pm<b>Thespade</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 2:56am<b>Hoax</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 8:17pm<b>Envy3</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 1:36am<b>luxornv</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 4:23am<b>xxaaaxx</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 7:31pm<b>ejvlols</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 9:53am<b>StudBoiAyeEm</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 2:22pm<b>compuryan</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 10:53pm<b>Psyche</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:20pm<b>sockergurl916</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 3:09am<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 11:56pm<b>shaawty</b> - the 05/22/2009 at 1:05am

zsorini2014's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zsorini2014's favorite FMLs

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

by Jman6295 / 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my 25-year-old boyfriend why we cannot get pet raccoons. This is not the first time we have had this conversation. FML

by britanyann / 01/05/2012 at 10:45pm / United States / Animals

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

by ShakeRattleHiss / 04/20/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

by PeanutlyDisabled / 01/08/2010 at 2:23am / France / Kids

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

by amy1023 / 11/26/2009 at 5:18am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

by jibberish / 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

by robbed / 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

by mrboston / 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy