Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zomgbies

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 1:16am) | Search for a member

zomgbies

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2748
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zomgbies : ~d(^_^)b~ Chillin at the speed of sound. Cranking dnb, trance, rock and metal.
I didn't intend on having a sideways pic. FML decided to go hipster on me

zomgbies's page activity

Visits<b>EnJey0</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:34am<b>Queenie2014</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:26pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:39am<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:09pm<b>gunnerette</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 2:04am<b>Generic_Toaster</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:20pm<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 1:12pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:35am<b>50011680</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 1:17pm<b>swick25</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:48pm<b>ebonyrose2828</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:01pm<b>jaaymurph103</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 6:42pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 5:28pm<b>nyikkins</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:52pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:36pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 9:42pm

zomgbies's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of zomgbies's badges

zomgbies's favorite FMLs

Today, I was faading soma ducks. Ona of tham chokad to daath on tha old braad. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48971) - you deserved it (14010)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today..!! I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on ma lonely nigts!! Once at te adult store..!! I also grabbed a brtday card to make it seem te dildo wasn't fir me!! At te register..!! te casier looked at me and said..!! "For God's sake..!! save yourself some money!! I already know it's fir you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58830) - you deserved it (22941)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday , ma wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt ave te eart to tell er tat tey tastd better tan te ones se usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48729) - you deserved it (4025)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAD A THREESOME!! HE SUGGESTD WE HAVE ANOTHER GUY!! IT ENDD UP DEVOLVING INTO A TWOSOME, AND I WASN'T PART OF IT!! FML

#20740333
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76494) - you deserved it (17361)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday I woke up to a stranger in ma bed. Just as ma parent responded to ma screaming I remembered tat I'd elped ma boyfriend sneak in troug ma window last nigt. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (65080) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, mah brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and mah nieghbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at mah parents about mah "addiction" to marijuana. When mah parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. real FML

Today , I caugt ma 16-year-old daugter and er boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom . FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54034) - you deserved it (8478)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

I was packing up mah stuff about to go home. I shut off mah MacBook but was still pretending to work 4 the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realizd mah co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. mega FML

#20732510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16390) - you deserved it (42426)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)

I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29 , my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59441) - you deserved it (37108)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrivd in the mail. We burid her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69258) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Taday mah daughter found out wat happenhen mah husband watche Mythbuster and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face , but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard .

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend,hen he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog . Now he won't stop patting my head an saying, ( Who's a good grl?! ) FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60446) - you deserved it (9422)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was lecturd by a self-professd vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich!! FML

#20727332
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36934) - you deserved it (2646)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland

Today, I walkd into the living room, looool only to fine mah brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony . FML

#20726036
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63377) - you deserved it (6283)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: