About zombieslayer83 : I'm a 29 year old male. I love most music, but metal is my fav, anime, horror and comedy.I'm some what of a shy person unless you know me. Then I can be a very funny person. I think quickly and obviously love zombies. just here to read and post. Hoping to rely on other peoples misfortunes to help with my own. Any questions just message me. UPDATE, I rarely find any of these FMLS to be of any relation to life. Who cares if your boyfriend smells bad! If an old guy hit on you! Wait until real life hits. I'm not sorry that people are idiots, just disappointed!
zombieslayer83's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
zombieslayer83's favorite FMLs
by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
by needanewride / 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 10:43am / Japan (Tokyo) / Health
Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML
by Emma / 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by sleeper / 03/02/2010 at 12:05am / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML
by Vgameboi / 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
by Noca / 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…