zojieeu

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Offline (the 12/13/2015 at 5:21am)

zojieeu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1820
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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zojieeu's page activity

Visits<b>psychicwolf</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 12:28am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 1:06pm<b>sloosh</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 3:01am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 1:40am<b>princeofgirl</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 12:57am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:30pm<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 4:59pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 11:59am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:46pm<b>cabub007</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:07pm<b>TitsMcGay</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:54pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:13pm<b>twintallon</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:32am<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:43am<b>mikepzz</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 10:45am<b>ValVee92</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:34am<b>Mardi_Gras_All_</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:34pm

zojieeu's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of zojieeu's badges

zojieeu's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML

by kklaucen14 / 08/05/2012 at 9:15pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9 inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

by grossedout / 09/08/2011 at 2:34am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

by anonomys / 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

by IAmACoolCat / 07/05/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

by nicknick2 / 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 6:06am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy