Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4280
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About zobara : There's nothing to say about me.

zobara's page activity

Visits<b>NoYesNoYesNoYes</b> - yesterday at 7:46pm<b>alexxxx92</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:34am<b>thisguy22</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 12:15pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:37pm<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:36am<b>JenDuffy</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:22pm<b>EMOHATE</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Boooooooooop</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:04pm<b>obey_clarence</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 1:57am<b>Wormie14</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 9:24am<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:47pm<b>klm2purple</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:30pm<b>123765</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:27pm<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:23am<b>andrex000</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 4:04pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 5:31pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:19pm<b>NOTHEL15</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 5:26pm

zobara's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of zobara's badges

zobara's favorite FMLs

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8818) - you deserved it (31652)

On 10/11/2015 at 7:45am - kids - by Hank-T4 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27557) - you deserved it (1730)

On 09/28/2015 at 2:49pm - misc - by Guy (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was at a get-together at a friend's house. Half an hour in, it became clear that someone had farted, and we all took turns asking who it was. When someone asked me, my girlfriend chimed in with, "Oh please, if it was him, you'd all be dead". FML


I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (4213)

On 09/28/2015 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I noticed I spend so much time with my cats that I tend to hiss at things that scare me or that I don't like. I'm turning into a cat. FML

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (3626)

On 09/26/2015 at 12:10am - kids - by :| (woman) - New Zealand (Nelson)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (1687)

On 09/25/2015 at 1:31am - love - by hunting7waves - United States (Iowa)

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33482) - you deserved it (1700)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:52am - love - by lovedoesnotexist (man) - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend and I got in a fight about which is better: Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. We aren't speaking. FML

Today, I was with my girlfriend at lunch when a group of guys came over. They started calling her a whore and a bunch of other shit, so I cussed them out. Turns out she was not only cheating on me, but all the other guys too. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26270) - you deserved it (1879)

On 09/21/2015 at 8:24pm - love - by Jgfenix - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15564) - you deserved it (29751)

On 09/18/2015 at 8:22am - animals - by introublenow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (1537)

On 09/17/2015 at 5:08pm - animals - by wormsmeat (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33857) - you deserved it (2335)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I gave blood for the first time, since I'm a universal donor. After it was done, I passed out, woke up, puked, and passed out again. The kind nurses told me I was the worst case they had seen all week. So much for doing something to help others. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21719) - you deserved it (1867)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:55am - health - by angelsaredicks (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: