About zoPwNAgEzo : I'm 18 and from Bellevue. It's probably one of the best cities out there. I like to piss people off. With that said, you probably shouldn't take any of my comments seriously. Feel free to message me, but I only visit FML on my iPhone, and rarely on my computer. So there may be a delay in response.
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zoPwNAgEzo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 8:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/04/2010 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (London) / Animals
by Wawawiwa / 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm / Namibia (Windhoek) / Intimacy
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health
by mperrotta913 / 05/21/2010 at 11:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
by victoriassecret / 03/03/2010 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was in my drama class and I was standing behind the curtains. My friend accidentally bumped me into the bin that was hidden behind the curtain. Everyone heard me fall and they opened the curtains. My butt was stuck in it and my knees were in front of my face. No one helped. FML
by JD / 02/05/2010 at 8:20pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML
by city_girl / 02/04/2010 at 1:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
by wolfpacking / 02/02/2010 at 12:51am / Transportation
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
by doesnttastegood / 02/01/2010 at 5:23am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Absent / 01/12/2010 at 12:42am / France / Miscellaneous
by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming / 01/03/2010 at 11:28am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was in a shoe store. I picked up a shoe so I could look at it, but when I put it back on the shelf, the whole shelf fell down, making all the shoes fall to the ground. The people behind the counter started clapping. FML
by shoes / 01/01/2010 at 9:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…