zingline89

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Offline (the 02/13/2016 at 10:20pm)

zingline89

24Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 July 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7597
  • Number of comments : 448
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's page activity

Visits<b>AChaoticFray</b> - 10 hours ago<b>dBLIZZARD</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:24pm<b>JohnTheDonJuan</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:56am<b>oyeh</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 7:19pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:39pm<b>jet223</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:24pm<b>bjnono001</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:57pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 11:45am<b>RaRitsujun</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 2:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:01pm<b>Frozen_Flames</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:10pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 4:26pm<b>riahlum</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 3:12pm<b>notminecraft</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 12:00am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:47pm<b>MassiDelta</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:21pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:24am<b>Lenora_Cain</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 8:58pm

Fucked!<b>AChaoticFray</b> - 4 hours ago<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 5:45pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:24pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:05pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:55am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:46am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:56am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:28am<b>Chronomay</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:22pm<b>eck1220</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:00am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:50pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:27am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:35pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:09pm<b>BlondePsycho</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:34am

zingline89's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 1:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

by allison_fishing / 10/25/2012 at 12:37am / United States / Health

Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML

by onlyme / 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm / United States / Money

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 5:21am / United States / Money

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

by Mouse / 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm / Kids

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm / United States / Money

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

by L / 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

by Faker / 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm / United States / Health

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

by red / 09/27/2012 at 7:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Health

Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML

by Flighted / 09/22/2012 at 12:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

by Hmmmm / 09/20/2012 at 10:58am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids