About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.
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I like your style
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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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zingline89's favorite FMLs
by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous
by James / 12/17/2012 at 9:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by teejayrn / 12/15/2012 at 6:48am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
by fuckmyassimcold / 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML
by McFizzy321 / 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm / United States (Florida) / Holidays
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 2:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML
by KennyDidIt / 12/09/2012 at 8:18am / United States (Alabama) / Animals
Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML
by WPA2 OR DEATH / 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by JessThompson / 12/05/2012 at 11:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2012 at 6:27am / Israel / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm / United States (New York) / Geek
by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work
by Likian5 / 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Banana / 12/04/2012 at 11:04am / Puerto Rico / Transportation
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…